Danger, Danger, Mr. Stranger

#DDMS14

#DDMS14

❧
FEUILLE

NGAYON ko lamang nakitang nanginginig at mukhang takot na takot si Xantiel. Nakabaong maigi ang mga kuko sa kaniyang anit, nakasabunot ang dalawang kamay sa buhok. It's like he's trying to rip off some unwanted images that are playing in his head.

"Xanti, don't—" I tried to take away his hands, but he just stood up as if I wasn't there. He lifelessly walked towards the broken pieces of plate on the ground.

Walang pag-aalinlangang kinuha niya isa-isa ang mga basag na piraso. Nanginginig pa rin ang kaniyang mga kamay kaya hindi niya mapulot nang maayos ang mga ito.

It's painful to see him like this. It doesn't feel right to see his smile missing.

"Hey, let me help you."

"No, go away." Malamig ang kaniyang boses, katulad ng kaniyang blankong ekspresyon. "Sorry, wala na akong ganang kumain."

I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. Every time I reach my hand out to him, the farther he distances himself from me.

No, not when we were finally getting closer . . .

"Xanti . . ." palunok kong wika. "Sino ba si Diosmarino? Kilala mo ba si Deux? Bakit—"

Hindi niya ako sinagot, ni hindi man lang ako matingnan ng kaniyang mga mata.

Tinapon niya sa basurahan ang mga bubog kasama ng pagkain. Naglakad siya palapit sa kinatatayuan ko.

Umalon pababa ang kaniyang lalagukan kasabay ng malalim niyang pagtitig.

"Stop asking questions." Pag-apak sa tapat ko ay nagpamulsa siya't siningkitan ako ng tingin. "I'm just not in the mood to eat. That's all."

Iniwan niya 'kong nakatunganga sa sala, halos maiyak sa lamig ng kaniyang pagtrato.

Parang ibang lalaki ang nasa harapan ko kanina. His eyes gave off a dark, unsettling vibe. Eyes that look like they've been through hell and back. What happened to my cute and innocent Xanti?

I thought this day would be cozy and happy. It's our fucking reunion. I even cooked him buttermilk fucking pancakes.

Naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng mga labi ko habang nagpipigil ng luha. I bit my lips hard, trying to stop them from quivering.

He said he just wants me to come home . . . But why did I come home to this?

***

LUMIPAS ang maghapon ngunit nakakulong pa rin si Xantiel sa sikretong kuwartong pinagbawalan niya 'kong pasukan. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ba ang nasa likuran ng pintuang iyon.

Is he here because he knows this is the only place I can't go to?

Is he avoiding me on purpose?

Ilang beses ko na siyang kinakatok, ngunit tila ba hindi niya ito naririnig. Ah, fuck this!

I pressed my ear over the thin gap of the locked door, closing my eyes to focus on my hearing.

It took a while, but I was able to recognize Xanti's voice. May sinasabi siyang mga pangalan, at paulit-ulit niyang binibigkas ang mga ito.

"Diosmarino Brando, Noli Santiago, Aldrin Velasquez . . . Ali Caliaga, Leo Virgilio, Santiago Dela Rosa . . ."

Naririnig ko rin ang yabang ng kaniyang mga paa. It sounds like he's pacing back and forth while reciting those names on loop.

"Diosmarino Brando, Noli Santiago, Aldrin Velasquez . . . Ali Caliaga, Leo Virgilio, Santiago Dela Rosa . . ."