30| Danger

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I shuffled around in bed. I hugged my two precious plushies... One was from Zhan and one... Was from my mother. It has been nights since i've had a goodnight sleep. I keep having flashbacks of when... When my mother passed.

To this day I still blame myself in all the deaths. Maybe if I wasn't born then the people I cared about wouldn't get hurt...

I tried my best to get rid of my bad thoughts tightly embracing my treasure

I tried my best to get rid of my bad thoughts tightly embracing my treasure

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Flashback:

Me and mother were living a subtle
life in the apartment of my grandfather. Things were going well. Yes, we were poor... But we still had food to eat and somewhere warm to sleep. My mother started neglecting me and showing me almost no attention. But I didn't blame her. It's hard to be a single mother that is also always on the run. But my grandfather was really helpful. He was trying his best to make our life normal. And even taught me a lot of things. Overall I was a happy child. Even if I was bullied in school, nothing really bothered me. Grandfather taught me how to go against them and soon they weren't a problem anymore

Once it was my 10th birthday my mom decided to celebrate it really specially. Even bought me a cake and a gift.

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-"Thank you mommy!" I hugged my mom tightly

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-"Thank you mommy!" I hugged my mom tightly.

-"Happy birthday!"

It was rare to see mom happy. She was always crying or drunk. So I carved the image of my mom smiling deep down in my heart. Every single day she would tell me that it would've been better if i wasn't born. But today she's even celebrating my birth! And they both sang my a little song!

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