Dark Park is a sequel to Scrubber-Town, but if anything is worse than its next door suburb. There are more cat fights, vandalism, especially by the Spite Club Girls, grafitti and bad behaviour in general, particularly emanating from the Dark Park
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Hi STRs andDark Parkers, Stace has just finished telling me about some weird old woman who lives next door to the Stinky Deli; you know, the deli where the Dark Park High School kids get their lunches?
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Roxanne from Delfine's told Stace. Sometimes Roxy is full of it and wildly exaggerates, so Stace and I decided to see for ourselves.
We actually went to have coffee at the Stinky deli, which is risky even for just a cup of coffee, given their terrible reputation. They sort of have a barista, their son Aaron. He's slow and lazy and takes forever to make a cup of coffee. Not sure if he's been a properly trained barista, cos the coffee is awful and tastes like dishwater. The only way to make it drinkable is to sprinkle it heavily with grated chocolate, which at least the Stinky deli owners provide.
Anyway, while we were waiting for our coffees to be made, we asked Aaron if he knew the old woman who lives next door.
Yeah, he said, that old sheila is as mad as a meat axe and is always standing out in her front yard, swearing at passers-by and telling them to fuck off. He reckons no one knows her real name, so everyone just calls her Effie, cos she says f...off so often.
We then took our vile coffees out to the chairs and tables on the footpath outside. Surprisingly there were no broken chairs this time.
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Before long, we heard the old woman.
F...off, yer ugly pig, she shouted to some random bloke walking past.
He gave her the finger and replied looked in the mirror lately, dog?
F...off she screamed.
Next, along came a trio of girls who we recognised as Spite Club girls. Stace and I looked down at our coffee cups and rolled our eyes at each other. You don't want to make eye contact with the Spite Club girls. It's asking for trouble.
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