Dark Park is a sequel to Scrubber-Town, but if anything is worse than its next door suburb. There are more cat fights, vandalism, especially by the Spite Club Girls, grafitti and bad behaviour in general, particularly emanating from the Dark Park
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Hi Scrubber Towners and Dark Parkers, last week Stace and I were invited; yes, invited, which meant we didn't have to invite ourselves, onto the set for a rehearsal of the Real Housewives of Jewel Park. Anything to get out of work, so we readily accepted.
We hadn't heard anything of Housewives for ages and we thought Prue Pepper had ditched it, but no, she's just had another project on and so Real Housewives of Jewel Park is a goer. Yay.
Of course Prue expected something back in return for inviting us, which meant we'd have to do a glowing review for the Scrubber Town news. Stace and I thought we could get our heads together and write something okay about a bunch of bitchy old slags,
Prue Pepper, who is the CEO of Channel One, the One and Only One, is everybody's idea of a nightmare director/producer. Not that we know much about what they're usually like. But Prue yells and screams and physically manhandles the cast to try to get them to do what she wants, when she wants. She's not above a few slaps and pinches.
We told Dr Una about Prue pushing the women around, and she reckons that Prue ought to be careful not to get herself sued. Well, whatever, but here's what we saw. We had plenty of Vodka stashed away in soft drink bottles in case we needed it, which we knew we would.
In the Channel One studio, the women were having their hair and makeup done. We waved to Cathee with two ees. She works two days a week at Delfine's Academy of beauty. She's a bit flaky, but at least she does more work than Delfine, who we might have told you, spends a lot of time outside smoking and eating lollies. As usual Cathee was telling the women to ree-lax and enjoy the experience. She was assisted by her younger sister Mindee (she has two ees as well) and another makeup artist, Tiffani. Shouldn't that be Tiffanee?
Here's a reminder of who the Real Housewives of Jewel Park are; Marissa; my boss at War Paint and all the rest of the staff are cheering because it keeps her off our backs. Tatiana and Olga,
Kal's wife and mischievous mum-in-law, Jules of Jules Jewlz, Jade, Wade Blade's girlfriend. Not sure if they're married at the moment. Then there's Suze, Skye Frye's secretary; pardon us, personal assistant. Dr Ina Eppit, Whitney Wells and her mum Wendy. Roz Pond, who was nearly Whit's mum-in-law, and Kal's daughter Kimberlee (another one with two ees) from his first marriage. Kimberlee had a baby not long ago, but she's already back in shape. We hate her.
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Kara-Lynn, manager of two of the Scrubber Town boutiques, was put out when she wasn't selected as a housewife and so has been told she can provide the outfits, but not act as stylist. Someone else is doing that. Prue obviously doesn't trust Kara-Lynn's styling ability, which we must admit, is zilch.
Tatiana and Marissa have insisted on wearing their own clothes, as they don't like the range in Kara-Lynn's boutique. The other women called them divas, so right away arguments and one up manship prevailed, which we suppose is the mood they want to set for the program.
