sometimes i wonder if i really had any friends you know? im always in the back of my mind overthinking but when i get hurt i show pain through tiktoks or not answering. no one asks me to spill to them. im always thinking of how my life could of went if i never got into sex, or had any boyfriends. i ruined what love is. i dont even know what to call love but the only thing i know what love is with Kolin. he looks at my story but he never texts. its like i was left out of the pack. there is no more hailey. there is no more meetings. there is nothing. its liked i was kicked out but with a lot of pain. i want to be with him but he doesnt want to be with me. i want something more with him but whats something more when it feels like we arent even friends. i really just want to disappear and leave everything behind and have the world be confused as if ive never existed but they know what i did for them. i got left behind and it hurts. i dont really know why im upset about it, ive always been left behind and i didnt care that i was left behind but this time its different. i really dont know what is wrong with me. i guess with them i was different, i had people by my side and i had them care for me. now it feels as if time has faded along and everyone is moving on and getting ready to leave everything behind, but everything they are leaving behind includes me. is as if i was never apart of the group. they were the only friends i could be myself with and now everything seems to be falling apart and everyone leaving me behind like i was just a passing faze. sometimes i zone out to think about the process you know. today is really different today bc everything is moving by so fast and it feels as if im doing nothing. i really dont know what to do. im scared of failing the driving test, but i have to have hope for myself. its better to be positive bc you have to chase your dreams not run away from them. i think ill be okay for now, if not ill make another entry today but as far as right now i think im okay. :)
June 6, 2022
Monday
Graduate(18)
8:08pm
YOU ARE READING
My Diary
Non-FictionI am not doing this for attention, its to share how my life was going and how it Is going now. A lot of things I have written were a lot of things. When I vent this is how I vent. I only have myself in this world. I can't tell anyone else but I am w...
