nothing is really wrong, like its just me. i dont know what im feeling right now, but it keeps coming and going everytime ransom texts me i smile and forget abt the feeling and then after he doesnt it just feels as if something is missing, like my positivity just up and vanished. im trying everything in my power to think of something positive and try to move past this feeling because its summer and i dont want to be feeling like this. i need something to do but i dont know what to do. i want to drink, but i said i wouldnt drink as much anymore. i want my mental health to be okay before i start drinking again. im trying to stop overthinking the feeling you know? ive been drinking gatorade and chewing on the little things that conceals it. i need something to withdraw this feeling. i dont know what to do i keep saying i might but i keep deleting it because i dont know what to do. im gonna go to another thinking process and just think you know. nah, thats not a good idea. i dont even know what to do bruh. i hate this. i might just start reading a book or something. oh but something i need to say is that i sent my last goodbye to Kolin. it was time for me to move on and go on and focus on my life and focus on my mental health because i saw how screwed up i was getting. i need to make sure that im focused on my life and focused on what i want to do and make sure i pass this driving test. i really need to focus on that because then that means i get to drive and forget and just pass time you know. i guess ive been rambling for too long but that shouldnt stop me bc this is my coping mechanism. i really enjoy this than writing it because i always forget and it doesnt really help because i just stop writing after my hand starts hurting. this coping mechanism is working a little bit at a time, i think i may be stressed. probably why im not tired right now and because everything is going through my mind. im trying breathing exercises. trying to focus my mind on myself. think positive hailey. you can do it. alrighty i think im good for now. im only logging off right now bc i want to keep talking to ransom.🫶🏼
June 18, 2022
Saturday
Graduate(18)
12:57am
YOU ARE READING
My Diary
Non-FictionI am not doing this for attention, its to share how my life was going and how it Is going now. A lot of things I have written were a lot of things. When I vent this is how I vent. I only have myself in this world. I can't tell anyone else but I am w...
