100 Days My Prince

Part 53 - Feels Like 48 Hours

Angst

Character:

Baekhyun

Reader

'I want to show you that I can be a man to you'

1397 words

You wake up early in the morning after spending a steamy night with your husband, Byun Baekhyun. All of a sudden, a wave of blues is hitting you. Knowing that your husband is only staying at home for a few days, you feel a bit upset. You keep taking a deep breath, awakening your husband who sleeps beside you.

Hearing your sigh, he asks right away. "Sweetie? What's wrong? What are you sighing about? Why did you sigh early in the morning?"

"Nothing...." you try not to cry, but your husband flips you over, putting you on top of him, revealing your pout. Though he is still half asleep, he furrows his eyebrows.

"Tell me, sweetie.... you are making me worry about this, wait, what time is it?" he checks the time. "Gosh, it's only 5 am. Tell me now, my darling. You make me scared."

"Hubby! Don't go back to camp, hmm? You are only doing social work, not a military who needs to stay in the camp most of the time.... I feel like I only spend about 48 hours with you here at home...." you sigh so hard that your husband sighs as well. He quickly takes you to his lovely embrace.

"Do you still remember what I told you last time?" he softly asks you.

"I know! I know! But, why need to do that? I mean, we will still be away from each other the moment you go back to work, have a concert abroad and so on! It's not like, I can follow you to the concert all the time, I need to go to work too.... Isn't that the same thing?" you start to sulk.

Baekhyun understands your concern, but he is a man of his word. While still laying on the bed, he calmly persuades you.

"Darling.... Can I tell you something?" and you nod.

"Do you want to know how I feel the moment when I know that I cannot enter the military in a soldier division due to my.... sickness? And only be able to do social work?" you get curious.

"I feel sad. Everyone who is selected to be a military soldier is considered healthy. But when it is my turn, I can't go, when I really want to go, experience how to be a soldier, even if it is just a little while. Don't you think I am not jealous when the other members, from Kyungsoo, Xiumin Hyung, Chen, Chanyeol.... I'm sure Kai and Sehun later will be in the first or second division and will be wearing a green uniform most of the time...." he lets out a sigh.

"That's why, I ask the department leader if I can stay in the camp, so that I can experience, even if it's a little, of how the military people living there, training and always alert for any potential threats from the outside. The thrill, the way they live, the way they train there in the camp, how they survive mentally, physically.... I want to experience all that so that I can apply that later on too. Mental survival is not easy, you know" he continues.

"But Suho was also doing social work, and he seems fine about it" you argue.

"How do you know he was fine about it? Have you asked him?" you just shake your head when your husband asks again.

"There may be some people who are trying to avoid enlistment.... But, for me.... I want to experience all that.... The chance to get enlisted is like, only once in a lifetime, you know...." this time, you feel embarrassed by your childish thinking and clingy behaviour. You could only keep silent.

"Doing the military service feels like, you are serving the work for your country, you feel proud of it, it's like, having a sense of patriotism or something like that. Plus, do you want to know what the people who don't like us, call us who genuinely want to be enlisted in the first or second division?" you look at him.

"They call us incapable. Liar. Using our position to avoid enlistment. Like, come on. They are not in my shoes. Do I fake my thyroid illness? No, why do I need to? I'm pretty sure there are some people who have seen me taking my medicine and supplements even when I am working, or going to the radio shows or anything. And they say I use my position? Well, that's pretty BS. Why do I need to use my idol position to avoid enlistment? There's no use at all. Idol is just a name of an occupation; I am still Byun Baekhyun though; a son of my mother and father. I just.... want to show people what I can do as a human being; capable of doing things. And I don't care whose people I want to prove that I am capable, and that includes you as well. That's why I said to you last time, I want to show you that I can be a man to you, this is what I mean, be a man of this house, be a man of my own family. Some people think I am not strong. Well, I can be pretty violent if I choose to" this time, he gets upset for real.

"I'm sorry...." you quickly apologise. "I don't understand all the intrinsic meaning behind your words. I can't digest it, I just, can't.... But now I know, and I won't question you anymore...." you tear up. "My emotion can be broken too, sometimes. My whole life, people stabbed me from the back, and broke my trust in them, that leaves me with healing myself a hard way, and that's why.... I may appear stronger from time to time, but if I suddenly get emotional, my trust issues, my phobia, my panic attack, or whatever, could be back. I am not smart, you are smarter than me; you follow your brain, but I followed my heart and my emotions sometimes. That's why I can be so clingy towards you, I just.... I can't afford to lose another person because of trust issues, this is the last heart I gave to.... Just, enough with what I experienced last time...." you suddenly feel exhausted from the sudden wave of feelings.

Seeing you out of breath though you are not exercising, he knows that you need to be comforted as soon as possible. He hugs you tightly, wipes the tears from your eyes, kisses you and calms you down. "I'm not mad at you at all, my love. Don't cry.... I don't like it when my loved one is crying, it breaks my heart too.... I just wanted to explain deeply, so that you understand this time. I know that you are a blurry person like Lay Hyung too sometimes; need a few times to explain until you understand. But that's okay, I know your character already... But at the same time, don't worry, okay? I am not lying about going to camp or something, I am really staying in the camp, you can check with my manager or ask the department leader, I have nothing to hide from you. We have vowed not to keep any secret between us, right?"

When he goes to the toilet, you are in deep thinking. This time, you feel convinced about his intention of staying in the camp. You promise yourself to not have any clingy feelings towards him anymore when he is away from home. You want to learn to be independent, just like before you get married to him. Somehow, you want to be strong during his absence too, and when you have set your mind, nothing can stop you, including your husband as well.

"Oh gosh, it's only 5.30 am? Still early though...." Baekhyun talks again after he returns from the toilet.

You see his morning wood is already rising, but since your mood has been disturbed, you decide to sleep for a while first and settle his snuggly friend later. As for your husband, when he sees you back to sleep, he swiftly lays down, returning to his slumber while hugging you; at the same time repairing, and preparing your mood for the next round later on. You don't want to continue your day in a bad mood, especially when he is around.

To be continued....

Uploaded on: 21st January 2023