With Michael

Chapter 30 - Back To Old Habits

19th of November, 1993
Brooklyn and Janet are 27, Michael is 35

Michael: I groaned as I started to wake up.

The last thing I remembered was Bert telling me about the warrant, then everything went black.

Every part of my body hurt; a horrible pain I couldn't even describe.

An IV pinched my arm and oxygen tubes were stuck in my nose to help me breathe.

"Hey." Brooklyn, who was sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed, whispered.

She was holding my hand tight, like she was afraid to lose me.

My vision was still a bit blurry, but I could see that she had been crying.

When my vision became clearer I recognized the look on her face told me she found out. It made me look down in shame.

"The doctor said your body went into shock. And you were dehydrated badly," she sighed. "The worst part about this was when he told me they found a high dose of Demerol in your blood. He then told me what Demerol was and I broke down."

She put a finger on my chin and made me look at her.

"Remember that night before you started treatment, you told Julia that once you start, you'd never go back to the pills. Why would you throw everything we worked on, everything you worked on, away?" a tear slid down her cheek.

I didn't have words to say. She knew exactly why I've been taking medication again.

That's not what she's asking, stupid.

"I'm sorry." my voice was barely heard.

"I'm not the one who deserves an apology, Michael."

I knew what my wife meant. I was abusing myself and no one else. She was just crying over it, after I scared her the way I did.

She was crying now, hard. The tears just didn't stop flowing out of her eyes. "You almost died, Michael. They said... They said that if you had kept up with it just a few more days, I'd probably wake up with you dead next to me."

"Don't say that." I told her.

"But it's true! I understand you're hurting. I understand your pain, I do. But you have to trust me to help through that pain, without depending on drugs. You've done so well for almost two years, what changed?"

I could feel my heart beating faster as I wanted to answer her.
Yet, my mouth wouldn't open.

Everything changed. Evan Chandler broke my heart, along with Jordie.

Brooke wiped her tears and stood up.

"Don't go." I begged.

"I'll be back, I'm just calling everyone. They're sitting outside, you had us worried sick." she said.

I put my head back on my pillow and bit my lip as I tried to hold back the tears.

I messed up again.

~

Brooklyn: Katherine hugged me before going into Michael's room with the other family members.

I tried avoiding eye contact with them. But Janet being Janet, she waited until everyone was out of our sight.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked.

"That his body went into shock and he was dehydrated. That's it." I lied.

She crossed her arms over her chest, "He's been taking pills again, right?"