MIKA

Selfish

--Andy's POV--

"Nick wake up," I say as I shake Nick.

"Nooo...." Nick replies as he buries his head underneath his pillow.

"Yes," I tell him as I yank he pillow away. "Time for school. You're already late."

"I'm not going," he whines as he tries to pull the covers over his head, but I yank those away.

"Get up," I tell him.

He sighs and slowly gets out of bed. I think he's heading to the bathroom, but he cuts into our room. I quickly follow him. He crawls underneath the blankets with Mika.

"Nicolas," I start. "Shower. Now."

"Andy be quiet," Mika mumbles.

"He's trying to make me go to school." Nick tells him.

"Do you want to?" Mika asks.

"No. Can I just be homeschooled again?"

"Sure, but keep quiet. I'm trying to sleep," Mika replies.

I sigh in defeat and head back to the kitchen. Jasmine has her food thrown everywhere and Natalie's drawing on the counter instead of her coloring book.

"I need a vacation," I say to myself.

After much cleaning and scrubbing I finally sit outback. The girls are now running around the yard with Mel. My mind keeps wandering to selfish thoughts that I shouldn't be having, because that is what they are...selfish.

I keep having to remind myself the last few weeks that this is what I wanted. I wanted to marry Mika. I wanted to start a family. I wanted kids. I wanted to devote all my time to them, but I'm still unhappy.

I'm not sure what it is that I need or want. I'm just really hoping that I don't end up doing something stupid. I promised Mika I'd never be the person that I was before. Maybe you can never outgrow being selfish. Maybe that's all I'll ever be.

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