Where We Are

Choices

(Evelyn)

I was awakened by the blinding light of the sun through the window. It took me a moment to figure out where I was.

I must have fallen asleep on the kitchen floor because I was surrounded by remnants of my wine glass and bottle shards.

I sat up and my head began to pound. My face was sticky with dried tears and flaky makeup.
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I called out of work, showered and decided to have a quiet day with myself.

I put on my favorite pair of sweatpants that were stretched and thin from wearing it with all my babies.

I curled up in the same blanket Zak often took on investigations as he thought it smelled like me. It smelled so much like him now.

I poured my favorite kind of tea in my favorite cup and sat huddled on my nook near the window.

I sat and watched as people passed by. I bet their lives are going so much better than mine.

I played with my now naked ring finger. Knowing I fucked up 50% of my relationships. 1 out of 2.

I mailed my ring back to Jay and he then gave the ring to Beth. Who knows where my wedding rings from Zak ended up.

Tears streamed quietly as I sipped my tea.

I sighed and picked up my phone. Searched flights from Seattle to Vegas.

I was going home and I'd made my choice.