Bollywood Jokes

Amitabh Bachchan

Kabhi Amitabh bachchan kehta hai
“Rishte me hum tumhare baap lgte hai”

Aur ab keh raha hai
“Buddha hoga tera baap”
Apne hi jaal main phass gaya Pagal!

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This is when Amitabh Bachhan got fit and fine after his long illness..... one fine morning he told his driver vijay "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..". Driver, "Par saab aapki tabyat?.." Amitabh "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he vijay, I am fit and fine...kya disco karke dikhau, dialogue, stunt karkee dikhau.......Hain" Ok then he starts driving the car very fast.... breaks first red signal......... breaks second red signal.......... breaks third red signal........... ... ... ... Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the car to be sided to the road.. Tells the driver to come out... "Chalo saheb license dikhao, PUC, gaadi ke kagjaaat...baher nikaalo" Sees Amitabh "Arre Amitabh Bachhan ?!!!" he is very suprised to see him.... ..... Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior inspectors .... "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..." Sir "KYun kya hua??" Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda hai abhi mein us gaadi ko side me rakha hai" Sir: "To phir?" Hawaldar: "Sir, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .." ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Sir "KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??" HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HAI ...."

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Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door,

And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!"

...Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was Just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says...

"President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts

..."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him.

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : "Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up".

Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies

..."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".

Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side, Rajini asks him, "What happened?"

Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said,

"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"