Askeladd - Thorfinn x reader -

62.

Chapter 62
Scared 

'What if it were me..?' 

As selfish as it was, that was all Y/n could think at the moment as she sat on Leif's boat. They were currently getting ready to leave the farm, the only one being left to board was Thorfinn. 

Earlier at the break of war, they'd executed a plan to escape with Arnheid; not wanting to leave the women alone with Ketil in her fragile state, Leif left behind a handsome amount of coins to compensate for taking more than he was offered. 

Technically, they were still stealing no matter how much money Leif put down on the table, but in no scenario would they leave Arnheid behind. There was no telling what Ketil was capable of doing since he'd lost his head. 

At first everything was going accordingly, but their luck ran short as the beautiful woman sadly ended up succumbing to her injuries; rejoining her late husband and son, along with her unborn child. 

Arnheid was buried in the soil of the farm, a place where Einar regrettably was never able to free her from. She'd be here forever, at least physically. 

Even though her soul was finally free from the binds of slavery, her suffering had come to an end, Einar was struggling to find peace in that. 

And it will take him a long time to accept the things that transpired on this farm. 

It wounded Y/n to see Thorfinn and Einar grieve over a recent loss, but she was thankful the two had each other to lean on. 

Still, for some reason earlier as she stood near Arnheid's tombstone, and even now, all she could think about was the many times she brushed shoulders with death. 

When she was younger she put herself in the front lines of battle, not hesitating to jump directly into harms way if it meant defending her father. Hell, if the man told her to jump off a cliff she'd run off without hesitation; she literally ran through fire on his command. 

She willingly would lay down her life for her father, she lived for him. 

Then of course came the day when she lost him, when she lost her purpose. 

She'll never forget the lack of hesitation she had when it came to doing anything to save her father that day...Well not that she could anyway with the effective reminder of only having one arm left. 

Still even after maiming herself, being so lost she wanted to do nothing but return to the only thing she believed she was good for. And at the time she didn't care if she died doing it, at least she would be put out of her misery...Right? 

She recalled Arnheids last words, how the woman wished to be rejoined with her passed loved ones even though she was so close to finally being free. 

Arnheid had no interest in being free if it meant living a life without her family. 

The same way Y/n was so convinced she wouldn't be able to function without her father. 

What would've happened if she returned to the soil before she was reunited with Thorfinn?

Seeing Thorfinn was the reminder that she there was still someone she needed to live for. 

So was this it? Was this her purpose? 

"Y/n, are you okay?" Thorfinn seemed to always be the one to drag her out from her deep thoughts. After the night they shared, whenever her name fell from his lips her heart beat irregularly. She didn't think it was possible for her to admire Thorfinn more than she already did, but somehow her adoration for him inflated her heart.