LOTF: Before and After

Jack Merridew

A child psychologist would've been able to determine that Jack Merridew was an intuitive child in a matter of minutes. That is, if his father ever would've let him be seen by one. The only doctor Jack Merridew had ever been to between the ages of two and eight was a dentist. At first, Jack's parents' decision to drop the ball on his medical care was a simple disregard for the child. But after his mother abandoned the Merridew family and Jack was forced to take on the roll of a human punching bag, Evan's decision not to take him to a doctor was a deliberate one. Though, it was less of a decision than it was a secret.

What Evan didn't care to admit was that even at the ripe age of three years old, Jack was intuitive. He didn't care as much as a normal kid would've to see his mother leave, but the toddler did notice the way his mother's absence changed the dynamic of his family. Even at age three, he understood that he and his big sister were different because they were treated different. Sooner than later, he'd surely figure out why. Little Jack grew to expect it when his dad came into the room after work and only greeted his elder child. Jack picked up on the difference in his tone when he spoke to each of them, on the difference in his body language, and on the difference in the amount of affection he showed each of them.

It took longer than it should've for Jack to feel bothered by being treated as second to Paige. For the first few years after his mother left, Jack accepted his role as the lesser child. He was merely a three or five-year-old kid who simply didn't know any better. He had nothing to compare his life to, no conflicting reason to believe that something was wrong. Children believe what they're taught until something challenges that belief. For the first few years of a child's life, they don't have the experience or knowledge to even consider challenging what they know to be true.

But by the time Jack was in the thick of his kindergarten year, he was surrounded by other children and adults, exposed to other relationships and interactions. He watched the ways his friends' parents engaged with their children, the ways the other kids spoke of their own home lives. Jack was surprised to discover that most kids didn't know which child in their own families were favored by their parents. Five-year-old Jack insisted that of course their parents had a favorite because every parent must. Jack thought his friends were dumb and ignorant to not know that. But by the time he started going on play dates, playing on the baseball team, sleeping over at friends' houses, and participating in school events, he realized that he couldn't tell which of their children other parents favored either. And eventually, Jack was forced to admit that he was the dumb and ignorant one for not knowing that family hierarchies weren't normal after all.

At age six, Jack Merridew was still a rather intuitive child. Not only did he notice that his father treated his sister differently than him, but he noticed the way other parents hugged and kissed their children at school drop off, and embraced them joyously at pickup. Before this revelation, Jack thought it strange and perverted somehow; the way his friends were so affectionate with their parents.

"Did you just kiss your dad?" Jack asked his friend, and first grade classmate Corey, as the boy joined Jack on the playground minutes before the welcome bell was to ring.

"Yeah" Corey answered with a thoughtless shrug.

"That's gross" Jack scrunched his eyebrows judgmentally.

"I'm not sick or anything" Corey combatted, evidently confused, "and I brushed my teeth this morning too, so it's not gross."

"It's still weird to kiss your dad" Jack took a reluctant step back from the boy as if the family-kissing-germ could be contagious.

"Your parents don't kiss you? Like ever?" Corey asked, finally picking up on what his friend meant.

"No" Jack retorted with a disgusted look on his face, "I'm not a girl."