Who We Were Born To Be (Niam) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 5: Making Progress

Chapter 5

James Matthews' point of view

After looking at the time, James walked down to the hotel restaurant and found Liam eating breakfast. “Niall just had another nightmare. Have you been okay?” James asked his friend.

Liam looked up, worried, and chewed his lip in thought. “I'm much better. Niall's always been the most sensitive one of us though. Do you think he'll eventually be okay?” James knew Liam felt guilty for letting the boys go into Guantanamo, especially for letting Niall go.

James nodded. “Yeah Liam, I think he'll be fine eventually,” James said, trying to reassure the worried boy. Damn, I'm not good at emotional support. James had always been bad at dealing with feelings. He was much happier to think deep thoughts about science and politics than he was trying to understand people's emotions. I suck at helping people with emotions. The best I could do was make sure they had counselling. And so it's my fault that Niall isn't recovering faster. I suck as a boyfriend. James had often felt guilty since Guantanamo because he didn't really know how to be there for the boys. “The last two nights were nightmare free. I think this was just a once-off,” he told Liam, trying to reassure the boy more.

“We all killed people. Can you ever really get over that?” Liam asked softly, and a little sadly. Liam's become a lot more reflective about human psychology and how events change people, James thought.

James answered thoughtfully, recalling words written thousands of years earlier by an ancient Greek philosopher, “Everything in life changes people Liam. From the smallest action to the largest. No one is the same when they go to bed as they were when they woke up in the morning. No person can cross the same river twice, for they won't be the same person and it won't be the same river. Change is the only constant in life.”

Liam nodded slowly, thoughtfully, then he smiled. “'Change is the only constant in life'. That sounds like the sort of thing Zayn would love as a tattoo. I'll have to suggest it to him.” James sighed. The boys all have too many tattoos already.

Harry's point of view

Harry was trying to help the other boys get back into their old routines. The best way we can get over what happened is to fully go back to the lives we had before. Harry had been reluctant to go back to performing concerts, wanting to skip more than just their one cancelled concert. But after they'd done a few concerts, he realized he'd been wrong. The concerts are helping us get our lives back to normal. The concert had provided something to focus on. The boys had to act happy and excited for the fans. And Harry had found that when he acted happy on the outside, the happiness had a way of getting inside him as well.

More importantly the concerts served to give a sense of continuity with their old lives. I think that after Guantanamo we all feel like we are new people. I know I do. I'm just not the old Harry Styles anymore. The old Harry hadn't killed people. He hadn't seen people die. He hadn't seen people caged like animals and experimented on like lab rats. Harry had seen how the concerts helped him fall back into old routines. So Harry had made an effort to make sure the other boys all went back to their old routines too. The one routine that they all hadn't yet fallen back into was the daily lessons with James on using their powers. Harry had barely used his power at all since Guantanamo. He hadn't seen the other boys use theirs either. Except for Niall, who has been using his almost non-stop on us all to try and make us happy again.

“All right, we're all here now!” Harry said, nodding to James. I hope this works. Harry had decided it was time to return to the routine of James' daily lessons for them all. I hope it's not too soon. I hope this doesn't make Niall cry.