Who We Were Born To Be (Niam) [ON HOLD]

Chapter 26: Straight...?

Chapter 26

Paul's point of view

That night Paul slept badly, thoughts whirring through his head. Zayn loves James who loves Niall who loves Liam. Oh god.

But I don't get it. Isn't Liam straight? He's only ever gone out with girls. And if he was attracted to Niall wouldn't we all know that by now?

And Zayn... Zayn's dating Perrie. He still is... right? During the past month that Paul had been away from the boys, he certainly hadn't seen any headlines about Zayn and Perrie breaking up. But maybe they've split up and haven't told the media?

Paul rolled over in his bed, trying to get more comfortable. A new thought struck him. I wonder if Zayn told his family that he's bi? Paul recalled Zayn mentioning a couple of years ago that Zayn wasn't going to tell his family that Niall was gay. Zayn was worried they'd think less of Niall because of it. Has that changed, I wonder? Maybe Zayn told his family once Niall and James got together? Paul was pretty sure Zayn's family must have met James at some point in the last year.

Paul was aware that Zayn's family was quite religious, far more so than Zayn himself was. But their views might have changed. Not all religious people are against homosexuality, and people's opinions about gays have changed a lot in the last few years. In the last year, especially. Here in England, they now allow same-sex marriage, and they're planning to implement it in 2015 back home in Ireland. About time too!

Paul rolled over again. But Zayn tends to keep things to himself, Paul thought. Even if Zayn's family knows about Niall and James, I bet Zayn hasn't told them that he, himself, is bisexual, It would be typical of Zayn to keep it to himself. I'm surprised he even told me! Paul reflected on that for a few minutes. Zayn's changed a lot over the last year. His telepathy has made him more open, more confident.

When Paul met up with the boys that morning, he pulled Zayn aside for a chat.

“What's up?” Zayn asked Paul cheerfully, as the boy sat.

Paul wasn't quite sure what to ask Zayn about to begin with. He probably already knows what I'm going to ask anyway, Paul thought, wondering how to phrase the question.

Zayn sniggered. “I don't actually,” Zayn said, responding out loud to Paul's thoughts. “Because you're confused, and you're thinking more about whether I already know what you're going to ask than you are about the question.” Paul blinked. Oh. Um. Okay...

Zayn shrugged. “Granted, I could poke a bit deeper into your mind than just your surface thoughts, and try to ferret out what you wanted to talk about, but it's too early in the morning for me to be bothered. Why don't you just save us both the trouble and actually tell me what you want to talk about?”

Er, okay... Paul squared his shoulders and asked, “Have you told your family that you're bi?”

Zayn froze, his eyes going wide.

“Um... no,” the boy whispered. Paul noticed that Zayn had began biting his bottom lip, which the boy always did when nervous.

“Are you still with Perrie?” Paul asked gently.

Zayn shrugged. “I told her I liked a guy. She's cool with it. We haven't broken up completely. But I guess we will, if I ever... well, y'know.” Ever start going out with James, Paul finished for Zayn in his own head. Which brings up other issues...

“Did you ever tell your family about Niall and James being gay?” Paul asked gently.

Zayn shook his head. “They wouldn't...” the boy trailed off. “They would think less of them if they knew,” Zayn added. And less of you if they knew, Paul added to himself.