Fire & Ice- Dabi FanFiction

Part 12: For me

***T/W, self-harm, drug abuse, drugs (all of these will be in most of the upcoming chapters. I will still put up the warnings though)***

You get up walking to the bathroom. Dabi grabs your wrist stopping you in your tracks. You look at him over your shoulder as your knees shake.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to clean up."

You mumble softly, trying desperately to keep it together. Dabi eyes your hip down before standing up and pulling you closer. He smirks as he notices the pink that invades your cheeks. He runs his hand across your lower back causing you to freeze up. You take a sharp breath as you feel his fingertips slip under your shirt and brush over your spine. You put your hands on his chest push away from him and walk into the bathroom without a word.

You close the door gently before sliding down to the floor. Your eyes slowly wander over the fresh cuts. You didn't mean to do it again, but you were trying to stop yourself from taking the drugs. The tears slide down your face as you feel your body go numb. You feel the hatred bubbling up slowly. You hurt him again, it seems that's all your good for. Messing up everyone's lives and moving on. You didn't deserve his kindness, his concern. Why wasn't he mad, why was he kind? And why the hell did he kiss you? Was he just trying to distract you? You feel like you should care more, but you were to numb. You move your hand reaching for your knife. You look down at the sheath hanging on your hip, noticing it's empty. That sly bastard, so he was just distracting me. You drop your head feeling everything go cold. Your vision slowly blurs as you sit on the cold floor feeling the heat escape your body.

Tears silently drip off your chin as you get to your feet. You walk over to the cabinet open it and pull out the gauze. You sit on the counter shakily trying to clean up the wounds. Dabi opens the door walking up to you.

"You should learn to knock."

You mumble softly as you ignore the stinging from the alcohol. He smirks as he gets on his knees and grabs the cotton ball out of your hand. You look away as he holds your wrist and dabs the cotton ball on your cuts.

"You don't need to do that Dabi."

"For what it's worth I hurt myself way worse. And you still took care of me even though I might as well have been a lost cause."

"That was different."

"How? I was hurt, jumping right off the deep end. And what did you do? You went right into the flames of hell and dragged my ass out."

He takes the gauze softly wrapping up your arm. He kisses the bandages before looking up into your eyes.

"What the hell makes you think I wouldn't do that for you?"

You reach out running your fingers over his cheek. Feeling the warm metallic staples under your fingertips. Dabi unintentionally leans in slightly as he feels your cold fingertips cool his scared skin.

"You need to switch them out soon."

Dabi smirks as he opens his eyes looking at you softly. You felt the butterflies freak out in your stomach. In all the time you'd known him, he'd never looked at you like this. Like you were so important, so precious.

"Think about yourself for a moment Aiko."

You shift your eyes away from him, pulling your hand from his face. Dabi stands up putting his hands on the counter on either side of your thighs.

"If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me."

You look over at him, your head getting fuzzy again. It had to be the drugs making it impossible for you to think straight.

"Be patent with me."

Dabi growls softly as he leans in kissing your neck gently. You feel your body stiffen slightly as your heart starts to race. He whispers in your ear, his deep rough voice sending chills over your skin.

"You know me better than that doll."

You run your fingers through Dabi's hair slowly pushing him away from you. You look into his eyes giving him a sad smile.

"I know you well enough to know what you're doing."

"And what am I doing?"

"You're manipulating my emotions. You think if you play sweet I'll listen to you. But if you know anything about me you know I won't be controlled, not even by you."

You put your hand on his chest to push him away. He doesn't budge causing you to glare at him. He lets out a soft sigh taking your hand off his chest.

"Don't use again."

"I'll do my best."

"Fucking say it Maiko."

"I'll do my best."

He glares at you as he squeezes your wrist, his palm heating up until it starts to sting. You smirk at him refusing to cave to his threats.

"Say it."

"I can't."

He hangs his head huffing irritably. He mumbles softly trying to keep his temper in check.

"Use me, not some fucking drug."

Your eyes widen as you question what he just said. You pull his face up so he's looking at you.

"I'd rather die than use you. You are too damn important for me to ever do something like that to you."

"But using drugs and cutting up your skin is fine? Do you think that doesn't hurt me?"

You let out a sigh letting go of his face and getting off the counter.

"You think watching my best friend burn up and turn into a cold-hearted person was easy for me?"

"This isn't a fucking completion Aiko."

"You know why I use Dabi? It's because I see you burn up in my sleep, and watch your jaw fall off over and over again. And when I wake up I'm back in those chains in that hell hole. I see my family's blood staining the broken cement of my house, I feel regret for not protecting my little brother from my father. The faces of all those innocent people who were just trying to help me turn into statues of death. I don't know what to do with my screaming head. But that evil vile drug makes it quiet. Makes the pain in my chest fade away. I sleep and don't have to dream of a damn thing. So if I slip I'm sorry but I can only take so much before I break apart and decay into nothing."

"You aren't the only one fucked up."

"I know that, but don't judge me for trying to deal with it in my own way."

"So I should just shrug my shoulders and let you slowly kill yourself. Fuck you; if that's how you feel why didn't you just let me die in that fire?"

You look at the floor trying to hold yourself together as you stay quiet. He speaks softly, so low you almost didn't hear what he said.

"You aren't the only one who cherishes someone."