Fire & Ice- Dabi FanFiction

Part 14: it's not much...

***T/W, drugs, drug abuse, self-harm***

You hold your shoulders trying to control your breathing as you start to shiver. Your body went haywire as everything from stress to withdrawals hit you all at once. You feel like screaming but you didn't want to bring attention to yourself. You whimper softly as your body screams at you. The cold mixed with the aches were causing your body to feel like brittle glass. You close your eyes and try to think of something happy. When Dabi showed back up, he didn't hate me. When he stopped me from leaving that night. When he told me I was important to him. When he kisses me, when he...kissed me. He was so gentle, the way his skin shuttered when I held his face. You find yourself smiling slightly as you think about it, it was him. Touya was still there, he was buried, but he's still there. He was telling you he was still there, he was saying 'hey I'm standing right here, stop looking at me like that, please see me.' You snap your eyes open sobbing as you realize what he was doing. Oh god, I was looking right through him.

         You grab your hair pulling at it roughly as you sob. You muttered to yourself over and over again how sorry you were. You couldn't take it anymore, everything was too much.

"I'm so sorry Dabi. I fucking did it again, fuck, fuck."

You feel someone pick you up causing you to panic. You squirm and cry out in pain as you try to get away.

"Calm down Aiko."

You look up into Dabi's eyes, hardly able to see him through all the tears.

"Touya."

He lets out a sigh and stands up, holding you to his chest.

"I'm sorry Dabi."

He chuckles softly as he carries you out of the tunnels.

"I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to me."

You lay your head on his shoulder as you hold back your whimpers. Dabi could tell you were in pain so he was trying to be careful.

He finally gets you back to the basement and opens the door slowly. Moving carefully to avoid hurting you more. You'd ended up passing out but were whimpering softly. His eyes soften as he looks at your face. He kisses your forehead softly before putting you on the couch and covering you with a blanket.
          You stir awake as you feel his arms leave your body. You reach out grabbing the back of his coat. He looks down at you curiously before turning around.

"Stay."

He smirks and sits down on the ground in front of the couch. You move your fingers slowly through his hair. It always surprised you that his hair was so soft. Dabi smirks as he lays his head back, closing his eyes and sighing softly. You smile as you watch him enjoy himself. You push yourself up ignoring your screaming body and lean over him. His eyes open slowly looking into yours. You smile and press your lips to his softly. He grunts quietly as he kisses you back, his hands digging into the carpet as he tries to hold back. You pull away and lay back down wincing.

"It's not much but it's a start."

Dabi watches you sleep trying to soothe you as best he could. He wondered if he looked like this when he was burned. Did she sit next to me all night doing everything she could to help me in any way she could? I bet she did, she nearly killed herself for me. She scared her beautiful face and got herself imprisoned. All to save my life; I may not matter to my father or the rest of the world. But knowing I matter to her is good enough for me. Dabi's lips curl up into a small smile as he runs his fingers through your hair softly.

"I'm happy you came back to the park that day."

He lays his head on the side of the couch holding your hand as you whimper softly in your sleep.

You snap awake screaming out in pain and fear. Dabi picks his head up looking at you through squinted tired eyes.

"What's wrong Aiko?"

You throw your legs over the side of the couch and push yourself up onto your feet. Your knees buckle under your weight as you drag your feet to the bathroom. You collapse by the toilet clinging to the cold ceramic weakly. Your body shakes as your eyes lock with the medicine cabinet above the sink. You drop your head heavying as you start to cry again.

"Dabi!"

You shout desperately; clinging to any strength you had left. He opens the door and walks in sitting beside you.

"I'll make you a deal okay?"

You look up at Dabi watching his eyes narrow at you.

"I'll tell you if I slip, I won't hide it. I'll do my best to do the right thing."

He looks away irritably and doesn't answer you. You huff out trying not to puke as you speak.

"In the cabinet, there's a false back."

Dabi's eyes move slowly back toward you. He gets up and opens the cabinet pulling everything out and putting it in the sink.
          He pushes on the panel on the back. It opens up with a soft creak exposing the small hole in the wall. He scoffs and slams the mirror door so hard it shatters the glass. The pieces explode all around the sink and floor; pieces getting in your hair. You put your head back on the lid of the toilet. Dabi looks at the pieces of mirror that litter the floor dully. He lets out his breath trying to stay calm.

"How long?"

"Since before I saw you again."

Dabi's body stiffens as he glares at the wall. You whisper out softly, deciding to tell him everything.

"I used to come here to use. But one day I overdosed and almost died. The guy who brought me here; his name is Catch. He stopped by for something and happened to find me. He told me that if I keep using, I need to stay at the crack house so I wouldn't be alone. Catch saved my life that day, and saved it again when he brought me here. He knew it would only be a matter of time before I overdosed again. And I knew if I did, I'd never wake up again."

Dabi yells as he punches the wall so hard his fist goes through the drywall.

"It should have been me! I should have fucking been there for you!"

You pick up your head blinking at him. He glares at you gritting his teeth as he speaks.

"Don't look at me like that!"

You furrow your brow as you try to figure out what's going on.

"Like what?"

"Like it's a surprise that I give a damn. It keeps reminding me how much of a failure I am!"

"W-what?"

"Fuck!"

Dabi shouts before leaning on the door and sliding down to the floor. He puts his arms on his knees and looks at the floor.

"I keep failing."

***For those of you looking for Dabi playlists to listen to. This one is my ultimate favorite, I love listening to this one when I'm writing this story. Warning you may not want to play the being of this playlist around others, or maybe just wear headphones (dabi likes to come and say hello every now and then ;) XD.***

https://youtu.be/oQD-356fNM0