Letitia's POV.
(Play song.)
"We will now have kind words from her wife." The pastor said as I got up and walked to the podium. I took off my shades and looked at all of the people who came out for my wife's funeral.
"Mema wo akye, everyone. Cinnamon was more than just my wife..she was my friend, my missing puzzle piece. She was that little hint of color in a black and white film. She always had this look in her eye that makes you get lost in it for hours."
"Always laughing and smiling that perfect smile. Always reminding me of what I could accomplish ." I chuckled then closed my eyes.
"But Her dreams, her goals.. her hopes for me? At the moment , it doesn't it exist. Loosing her is at the top of the list of the most hardest things I've had to deal with in my life. A friend told me to bury my dead and mourn my losses and I will forever mourn the passing of my love. Thank you." I finished then went back to my seat.
—
I took a yellow rose and placed it on the casket. My hands unable to detach myself from the cold case that held my wife inside it. It doesn't feel real. It still feels like I'm in a dream and I'm still waiting for her to wake me up. I sobbed silently for the 5th time today before they lowered her into the ground. Danai grabbed my arm and softly pulled me away as I cried in her arms. It was unbearable and unbelievable.
8 months later.
"Get back here, Usana!" Chad crawled away from me as I got up and chased him around. I giggled picking him up and swaying side to side. "Mamas baby is getting so big, o?" He placed his hand on my cheek slapping me softly letting out gas. Gosh the way he's growing is bananas. Lately things don't feel as heavy as they used to. Trust me, it isn't getting easier but I'm too distracted with our child and I'm getting used to the pain.
Walking to his room, I set him down on the changing table and looked under it for more of his cream. Moving things to the side, I saw a box labeled my love. I furrowed my eyes and pulled it out as I put them away for later and continued to change him.
Later than evening once Chad was sleep, I grabbed the box and sat on the couch in the living room with a bottle of wine and of course, some ice cream. "Alright, let's see what this stuff is. When I opened the box, I seen a dried up yellow rose and a bunch of tapes and letters. My eyes watered as I grabbed the first tape and popped it inside the vcr. My wife setting up the camera popped up on the screen as I covered my mouth.
"I'm old school as hell so this was my first resort. Don't judge me because I can feel you judging me." She started as I chuckled watching her sit on the bed in a yellow sundress. My favorite one. "Now before we start.. how are you? How've you been feeling lately, my love?" She asked as if she was still here.
"Going through the motions. Missing you like crazy but I have to stay strong for him..for you." I said out loud as she looked straight at the camera. "Well, you have to be strong. Not only for me but hopefully for him." She smiled softly as I nodded.
"If you ever find these and if you are watching these... I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused you. Meaning I passed away. Now I want you to know that whichever way this goes, dead or alive, I've made peace with all of it because I have loved so unconditionally." I placed my hand on my chest as I kneeled down in front of the T.V.
"I remember our first kiss. The place that I hold so close to my heart. I don't know if you've been there lately but I planted some flowers for you. Gosh, I planted them months ago whenever we were going through all of that mess. Anyways, I'm not going to hold you long. I just want you to know that I love you so much Letitia. And when I leave this world? I hope you meet someone who means it when they say, 'I love you', someone who is all actions and honest gestures rather than excuses and silence.
Someone who is generous with everything that they do for you. I hope you meet someone who doesn't think twice before picking up the phone to call you and apologise even if it wasn't their fault. Someone who puts their ego aside so they can put your relationship first. I hope you meet someone who has no boundaries when it comes to their love and respect for you, but also knows where to draw the line if you're testing them. I hope you meet someone who is as crazy about starry nights and wild adventures as they are about you because lord knows I am. Forever and always, my love, I love you. Until the next lifetime" She smiled as the tape went off.
I sat there looking at the blank screen as tears dropped to the floor. I wasn't crying because I was sad but I was crying because I felt like I could finally heal. I felt fucking relieved and I haven't felt like this in so long. Yes, it's hard as hell and I miss her with everything in me but finally the healing can start. I don't know where my life is going to take me and Chad but I know where to start.
Getting up from the floor, I went to the room to check on him as his chest heaved up and down softly. "We got this, papa." Smiling softly I closed the door behind me.
The end. :)
We did it guys! Finally finished! Thank you so much for sticking with me through this crazy ass journey. I love and appreciate y'all. Until Cliché (releasing next week.)
— C.
