"Look, it may sound only for Karim, but I-" I nodded.
"Its for Karim's safety. I can't let anything happen to him" I said while pulling up my knees to my chest. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel cold. Nothing.
"Why are you always so nervous around people?" Kamal randomly asked after we sat there for a while without saying anything. I just swallowed and took a deep breath. Yeah, breathing. I have to pay attention to my breathing, that's what my therapist told me.
"I'm not nervous" I said while intwining my fingers. I knew what he actually asked. 'What happened to you?'. Not that I would tell him anyway.
"Sometimes.. Sometimes talking about it will help" he said. I just rolled my eyes.
"I talked. I talked enough. Did it help? Did anyone believe me? No" I said bluntly. He was silent for a second. I lost everyone and everything just because I talked.
"That doesn't mean I won't too" he said. I stood up and grabbed my bag and put my book in it.
"What do you want from me?" I asked him. He looked at me for a second before he stood up too.
"Just because I wanted you to talk to me doesn't mean I want something from you Manar" he said while wiping off the snow of his legs.
"No one wants to know something without a reason" I said and turned around. I didn't need this. I shouldn't be taking another problem on my shoulders. No. I heard Kamal yell my name and I turned around.
"You know what? I am so done with you. Do whatever you want. One you are nice the next you don't care. I don't know what happened to you nor do I care, okay? I don't want anything from you. Got it? Good" he said before turning around and walking off. I felt a pang in my chest. Guilt was flowing through my whole body. I put my hand on my face. Why did I act so mean to him. He was nothing but nice. I wanted to run after him. To tell him that I didn't mean it. To tell him that I shouldn't have compared him to them, but I couldn't. I couldn't take a step. It was like my feet was frozen because of the snow.
~
I was walking home. It was frikin' cold but I frikin' didn't feel a frikin' thing. If she didn't push me, I wouldn't have said those things. I slapped my forehead and walked faster. I was angry and I needed to take my angry out on something or someone or everything was going to end up pretty bad. When I reached our front garden, I saw Maher standing there. He had his hands on his face and looked really frustrated. Something must've happened. I made my way over to him and before I know it he punched me. I took a few steps back and tasted the metallic taste of blood. Before I could say anything the next came. And then the next. I was still confused to do anything but before I knew it I pushed him hard back. Maher was a softy, he wasn't the one to throw around punches.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled at him while holding his throat. He grabbed my hand to take it off but I did it already myself. He was my friend, but he didn't act like one.
"How the f.. How could you? Kamal how the hell could you?!" he yelled. I raised an eyebrow.
"You are not making sense!" I yelled back. I tried to control my anger because I knew that if I took it out on him, it would damage our friendship. I couldn't risk that. Not when I needed to know so much.
"You.. Why did you reject Hafsa? Don't you know in what state you left her?!" he said. Oh, that was it. It couldn't have been something else though. I bet her parents told everyone lies about me hurting her or anything. I didn't even speak to that damn girl. But why was Maher so freaking out about it.
"And why the hell matters that to you?" I spat back. Seriously, Maher knew about the situation. I felt my anger raising. I needed to leave. I needed to leave before I did something. I was very bad at controlling my anger. I think I already mentioned that before.
"Because she is my cousin you dumbhead!" he yelled. I blinked my eyes for a second.
"So?" I said. Just because its his cousin doesn't mean I was going to change my mind. I won't marry Hafsa. Ever. Let everyone say what they want, I have the last word.
"You know what Kamal? You are going to marry Hafsa. I bet this girl you talked about, you remember the one you said you had feelings for, I bet she doesn't even exist. You have to marry Hafsa, Kamal. And you freaking know why" he said. I told you this was not going to end well..
____________
Salaam guys! So my exams ended. That means I have holiday now yay! I will start doing Islam is my Life episodes as soon as I finish my list with topics. If you have something in mind, feel free to tell me. Thank you for the patience!
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SERENDIPITY (Islamic Story)
Spiritual[Previously known as 'Have you'] Have you ever felt so alone? Have you ever felt like they stabbed you in your back? Have you ever thought you were going to be a victim of rape? Have you ever felt like you can't even trust family? Have you...
