The Spider Diaries [FIRST DRAFT]

Friday, 19 May, 2000: When You Were Here

Colby whispered something to me. "You know you're beautiful, Spider?"

"Since when?" I snorted.

This was the first time Colby and I smoked together, I was 13. And I didn't even enjoy it. I coughed as the smoke went into my lungs. He patted me on the back.

"Since you choked on polluted air." He hooted.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"But serious, Spider. You're beautiful, on the inside and the outside." he looked at me seriously.

We were sitting in my backyard, smoking cigarettes and drinking Jack. My mother was in Zimbabwe doing a story on politics between Zim and South Africa.

"And you're totally handsome!" I tossed back at him. We always did this, compliment each other.

It just felt different this time. Like he wanted to tell me something, but I chose to ignore it.

I wake up with an uneasy feeling. I run to the bathroom and throw up into the toilet.

What the hell? I haven't eaten anything substantial since my lunch with Kate on Wednesday, so how do I have food in my stomach to throw up? Oh nope, it's just acid. Gross. It burns my throat as it comes up my oesophagus into the now vomit colored toilet water. Double gross.

When I'm done I flush the toilet quickly. I rinse my mouth out with water and then brush my teeth.

Did my vomiting have anything to do with my dream? The one where Colby and I smoked in my backyard?

Why would that set off my gag reflex? Is my body trying to get rid of my grief? Or the memory of Colby?

I shake the thought as soon as it pops up.

I could just be getting sick from my irregular eating habit. And the fact that I'm now smoking three cigarettes a day.

It may not sound like a lot, but for me - a girl who only used to smoke once in a month - it is quite an upped dosage.

"Spider..." his voice scorning me for my recently acquired habit.

I decide from then on that I'm not going to smoke again.

I throw the last of my pack into the bin in the kitchen before leaving for school.

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A/N: I do this for the release. I need it with all the stress and pressure my parents put on me for school and applications for varsity.

I just want to say that I'm thankful to those who read this. I'm not a good writer, and I don't write to please people.

That being said...

OMG!!! This is the shortest and shittiest chap I have ever written... I'm so sorry you had to read this monstrosity.

Okay, I WANT to post a chapter every Monday, Wednesday and Friday but I might not be able to every single allocated day.

The first to post a non-update, non-hate comment gets the commented on chapter dedicated to them.

xoxo BiancaMM