The Spider Diaries [FIRST DRAFT]

Sunday, 05 May, 2002: Date Night

I haven't fully recovered from my nightmare last night. I don't feel like going out.

Mom didn't ask me what's wrong when I refused to eat breakfast this morning. I don't think she gets me all that well. Then again, she was hardly around when I went through rough patches in my past.

She wasn't even there for me when Colby died. She was in Canada. Doing business.

Then again, I can't really blame her. She needed to make a living for us since dad ditched. Though I can't blame him either. Mom was giving him a hard time then.

I just wish someone was there for me then, when Colby died. Kate only showed up on the scene after the funeral the weekend after.

I decide I'm just going to cuddle with some fluffy blankets on the couch with my favourite series reruns. Dark Angel.

I get to the episode where Michael Weatherly loses his ability to walk and ends up in a wheelchair. There is a knock on the front door just when my man gets shot. I moan in frustration, but unravel myself from the three blankets of different colours.

Once I've finally unbundled myself, there's another - more impatient - knock on the door. I roll my eyes.

"I'm coming!" I yell as a third knock - more like bang! - on the door sounds.

I open the door, ready to flip the interrupter off.

Mark is standing on the other side of the threshold. The anger at the interruption drains from my body. Sadness replaces it.

I'm sad because I was hoping he wouldn't ever have to see me like this. I cried on-off the whole day while watching Jessica Alba and Michael Weatherly interact. I never wanted Mark to see me with red eyes from pain rather than pleasure.

He's standing there with a bunch of orange lilies in the one hand and a small plush teddy bear. He sees my face and loses the grin. "I guess I should have brought chocolates instead."

A strangled giggle escapes me, followed by a slight sob.

I move from the door so he can come in. He rushes in and puts the items he brought on the kitchen counter. Then he rushes to me and pulls me in a tight hug. I hug him back and sigh into his chest.

"I got a surprise for you, but you need to go get dressed, my love." he whispers in my ear. I sigh again before stepping away from him.

He has a mischievous sparkle in his eyes and I raise a brow at him. He mimes zipping his lips. I giggle and run up the stairs.

I dress in a black, thick-strapped tank top and a pair of light blue denims. I pull on a pair of black Doc Martens that I got as a present from my dad last year. Just because. I also put a little makeup on to hide my puffy red eyes.

When I get downstairs he's gone. Mark is gone. Wow, maybe he didn't want to deal with me when I'm such a mess. I sigh. I turn to go back upstairs. Mom's there, leaning against the railing to the stairs. She doesn't say anything.

She just hands me a note, gives me a huge smile and a hug, then leaves for the Cave. I look after her with a confused look then look at the note in my hand. I unfold it and read the note.

My dearest,
I'm sorry I can't be there
To see you come down the stairs
In the beautiful outfit
I know you're wearing.
But I have a plan,
I've been planing for a while,
To make you smile
Which I love so dearly.

I want you to search
For a place
Cuddly and soft,
A place so small
It can fit in your hands.
There you'll find
Another note
And it will explain
The situation.