Janet
Music played in my ears, as I ran full speed on the treadmill. I woke up this morning with a burst of energy and wanted to put it to good use. It was a surprise, seeing as how my night was spent with me being active. Very active. He stayed the night after my brothers left and mother went to bed.
"Janet!" I stepped on the sides of the treadmill and took my headphones out.
"Mother." I stopped the treadmill. "What's up?" I got a bottle of water from the fridge and took a drink.
"You seem to have very high energy today."
"Yeah. Felt like working out."
"Seems to be working." She patted my stomach and I laughed. The abs I had before were coming back in.
"Yep. I feel so good about myself lately. It's almost like I can do anything."
"That's good. I'll have to thank the boyfriend." I laughed.
"Who says it's him?"
"Because last night you were up very late and yet you have so much energy." I laughed and hid my face. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm happy that you're happy."
"Thanks, mother."
"But sweetie, why do you keep hiding this relationship?"
"Because I'm not ready to reveal it." I went and sat on the bench. She sat next to me.
"Why? Are you embarrassed?"
"No."
"Is he embarrassed?"
"No."
"Are you unsure about him?"
"No."
"Is he unsure about you?"
"No, he's very clear about how he feels."
"Then what is it? Is he not comfortable with the fame thing?"
"No, he's comfortable with it."
"Then what is it?" I thought for a second.
"I don't know. I guess I'm afraid."
"Of what?"
"I've just..." I sighed. "Every relationship I've been in has failed. I'm a little worried that it's...uhhhh...ummm."
"You?" Tears came to my eyes. I nodded.
"Yeah."
"Oh baby." She pulled me into her. "There is nothing wrong with you."
"Then why...why can't I seem to last in a relationship? Something always goes wrong."
"So you don't want to bring the relationship to the light because you'll be forced to view it as a real relationship."
"It is real. My feelings for him are very real."
"But keeping it a secret is a crutch. Anytime a question comes up about moving forward, you probably say you can't do it because you guys are still a secret. Right?" I looked down. "Take the chance, sweetie. Life is too short." I nodded.
"You're right. I should, shouldn't I."
"Yep. This is obviously the best relationship you've been in. I don't want to hear about it through walls." I chuckled.
"I get where you're coming from. I'll talk to him."
"Good. I'll plan dinner for when Rebbie gets back." She headed for the door.
