Angel

Chapter 23

I listened to See You Again by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth while writing this :)

I sat in the hallway right outside of his room. I couldn't stay in there with him. It made me uneasy, and it made all the possible outcomes of this whole thing come into my mind, especially the bad ones.

I'd been sitting there, outside of his room, for probably an hour when Dr. Pasterik came and sat next to me. It took him a minute to get his tall body in a comfortable position on the hard, tile floor.

We didn't make eye contact. I continued to stare at the wall opposite of me.

"His tests came back."

I still didn't flinch. I didn't want to hear it if it was bad news, but I decided to ask anyways.

"And?"

"Everything is good for now."

"Good," I said, still not looking at him.

"He's going to be okay. Was your visit nice?"

"It was nice to see him. Just not that him. There were tears. Lots of them."

He put his hand on my bare knee.

"Vanessa, he's fine."

"I know that. You said for now, though, didn't you?" I said, sarcastically.

"Yes, that's true, but there is less than a ten percent chance of a change in anything."

I used my hands for balance and stood up. I was done listening to Dr. Pasterik and his lame attempts at making things seem perfectly fine.

I turned around and looked at Zack through the huge window looking into his room.

I longed for him to move. To so much as lift a finger. To blink. To wake up. To talk. To smile.

All he did was lay there, still and silent besides his slight breathing.

I didn't want to leave, but I felt like I had no choice. I couldn't sit here and torture myself with anticipation until he woke up.

I felt sick. I wanted to throw up. All of this was too much for a fifteen-year-old

like me.

That reminded me that my sixteenth birthday was in August. So was school. I wasn't ready for either.

I wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a new age. I wasn't ready for the new, higher expectations of a new age. I wasn't ready for a ridiculous birthday party that all of my old "friends", who were almost all enemies now, would be invited to.

I wasn't ready for the school bus, or the teachers, or the hundreds of students. I wasn't ready for daily homework or after-school activities. I wasn't ready for the stress of grades and projects and tests and exams. I wasn't ready for possible bullies or school drama.

I wasn't ready for the overload of anxiety and temptation of my escape that school brought.

I didn't even know the name of the high school I was going to attend, and I didn't want to learn the name of that hellhole anytime soon.

I hope that Zack and I will go to the same school. I hope that my dad won't be the parent he was several years ago, and that he won't force me to go to a private school.

With those things now on my mind, I definitely felt sick.

I turned back around and looked Dr. Pasterik in the eyes for the first time since he had joined me several minutes ago.