Angel

Chapter 22

My arm didn't look that bad. I expected it to look much worse.

It wasn't much of a big deal, the whole scenario. I fainted because of the blood loss, but I woke up only an hour and a half later.

As soon as I was awake, I called Dr. Pasterik in to ask about Zack.

"He's not completely stable. They took him into emergency surgery, and he was bleeding internally. They think they fixed everything, but they can't know for sure until all his tests come back. He's on life support right now, just in case anything goes wrong. He's still under the anesthesia."

I didn't know what to say. There were a thousand things running through my head.

"Thank you." Thats all I could manage.

He looked at me and just studied me for a moment. I couldn't make out his feelings from the looks on his face.

He started to creep me out.

"What?"

"I'm just worried about you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I was stupid to do this," I said, referring to the recent incident.

"You're right about that."

There was an extremely awkward feeling in the room, so I spoke up.

"Is the heart monitor ready?"

He lifted his face from the ground, looking slightly shocked.

"Oh, thank you for reminding me," he said while grabbing my chart, preparing to leave. "I'll go get that ready for you, and I'll be back."

It was clear on his face that he was worried now, and I wasn't exactly sure why. Like okay yeah, I'm not that stupid. I know that what I did earlier shook him up.

But why did he care so much? I always thought doctors were supposed to get the job done. Not build bonds and treat the patients like family.

I threw the thoughts away. He had walked over to the door by now, and he was turned around, facing me.

"And Vanessa?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not your time to die. Don't screw it up."

***

The monitor was an absolute pain in the ass.

It was invasive. I had probes all over my chest and stomach area. The adhesive from the probes was sticky, and it made my skin itch, and when you pulled the probe off, my skin would literally bleed. Not pleasant.

I felt extremely violated by the time Dr. Pasterik was finished "installing" the monitor.

The damn thing was noisy, too. It was always beeping, and it would go off for several minutes if my heart beat slowed or sped up drastically.

And it wasn't just beeping sounds. Oh no, it was this high pitched squealing noise. It was ear-piercing.

It was bulgy as well. The thing was hooked to my underwear, under my gown. Of course, when I was just in my bed, I could just let it sit next to me, but not if I was walking or anything like that.

After the monitor was taken care of, I had nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. Zack wasn't available, and I was not the slightest bit interested in my family being here.

I was tired of the movies. I'd watched all the ones Zack brought anyways. The movies reminded me of him too much, too.

I was trying to keep him off of my mind, but I couldn't manage that.