Angel

Chapter 17

Julie and Dad surprised us with a short road-trip, so the adventure from Virginia back to Georgia was full of scenery. The amount of time spent in a car with six people was too much for me though.

When we got home I was relieved. My legs felt like noodles for hours after getting out of that cramped up van, and my muscles were all stiff from being still for so long.

It was the morning after we had gotten back. Today was the day of my visitation with Mom. I wouldn't say I was excited, but I wouldn't call it bummed out either.

This day could be great, but it could also go completely wrong.

Dad said it was okay for Zack to give me a ride to the county jail. I thought that maybe if I saw Zack for a bit, it would calm me down and I wouldn't be so nervous about seeing Mom. Zack almost always made me feel better.

I sat on the brick steps to my front porch, waiting for Zack's old, beat-up pickup to pull in my driveway.

During the wait, I watched as several kids rode by on their bikes. They all looked under the age of twelve. I thought that they were too young to be out, but maybe I was overthinking it.

Every time I saw someone out by themselves now, I thought of the incident with Eli. That experience scarred me for life.

Zack drove up about ten minutes later.

"Sorry I'm late. My dad had a fit."

"It's okay. I get it," I said. I didn't feel like questioning Zack about his dad.

I really didn't care what time I got to the jail. It's not like I was going to talk to her for the full hour they provided. She'd be lucky if I stayed fifteen minutes.

The jail parking was crowded when we pulled up. While Zack was trying to find an empty parking space, I realized I had no idea what to expect from Mom. I didn't know if she would still be pissy because of her bipolar disorder, or if she'd be back to normal. I didn't know if she'd want to see me or not. I didn't know if she'd be sorry or not.

Zack looked at me with a sentiment look in his eyes. "Do you want me to go in with you? I can wait in the lobby hall."

I sighed. "No. I'll be fine."

I hope, I thought to myself.

***

A lady stopped me when I walked through the doors into the cool air. She told me I had to sign in at the front desk and verify my information before I could go back.

That whole process took a while. Once I was back in the cell area, a guard told me the rules of visitation:

1. Try not to upset the inmate.
2. No abuse of inmate allowed.
3. No weapons.
4. No drugs.
5. No alcohol.

They were really obvious rules to me, but whatever.

The guard used a key from a large key ring to unlock Mom's cell door. I took a deep breath and walked into Mom's current home.

She was sitting in a metal chair, and both of her hands were handcuffed to the armrests.

She looked horrible. She'd lost weight in the past few weeks. She had very dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was matted up at the ends. She was dressed in one of those orange prison uniforms.

After she was silent for a while, I figured it was up to me to start any source of conversation. I decided to try and be nice.

In reality, I wanted to scream at her for almost killing me. For making my life even worse. Thanks to her, my life had changed drastically. Yeah, some of it was for the better, but still. I didn't want to have to deal with her bullshit.