His hands on my neck - Joel Miller.

26.

Joel was sitting on the front porch of the house for at least an hour. The conversation with Tommy was still in his head, and they both knew that the younger brother was right. The last thing everybody cared about was her age, but her mysterious past that wasn't adding up sometimes, and the way she looked at him were the main reason to break it off. The sun was seen above the horizon. He knew that after a while she will wake up to make a cup of black coffee in the kitchen, and it would be weird If the brunette found him on the steps of the house that morning. Miller got up, and taking his power back to his mind, opened the heavy door to make his way into the house.

-    Hope, are you home? – Suddenly, a thought that she could be in the hospital for another overnight task appeared in his head. Before doing anything further, he wanted to check if she even was there.

-    Yes, I'm here, - Hope walked out of the kitchen and made eye contact for a moment with a man before he closed his eyes to rub them in tiredness

-    Got some time? – He sat on the couch, placing the heavy bag on the floor as his eyes with the serious grin on the man's face could be seen by her.

-    Yeah, what's the matter? – She was standing in the doorframe, taking sips of the freshly brewed coffee just like any other morning.

-    I think we have to end our little secret, it has gone too far, -Joel looked up at her, his face was telling everything more clearly than his own words.

-    Can I ask you what pushed you to this conclusion? – A girl took another pause, letting herself think over this situation. They both knew this moment would come sooner or later. It couldn't last forever, no matter how good they would feel at night.

-    I had a conversation with Tommy, he knows, - The man looked away through the window as the silence took over all the empty space between them.

-    So, you're making a decision based on your brother's assumptions instead of your own? – Hope finished coffee, but still held the cup in her hand, as the doorframe into the kitchen was supporting her body on the side, letting the girl's shoulder touch rough dark wood.

-    No, it's not that. You're so young, and I hope you will someone who is less of an asshole, and will treat you right, - Joel's attention was on the birds outside who were flying from one branch of the tree to another.

-    Do you think I ever thought I'm having a place in your heart? – She looked him in the eyes, now catching eye contact between them. It was hard to decline the fact that she had feelings for him, but there was not even a drop of hope in her heart that the mad did the same towards her.

-    Hope, just stop, - He got up from the couch, taking a step forward as if he was trying to comfort her, but the whole situation was making it only worse.

-    Joel, I might be young, and stupid in your eyes, but I am not a fucking fool. I know you did some dark shit in the past before coming to Jackson. I don't care how many people you've killed, or what you had to do in your life. Yes, I might fucking love you, but I have never expected you to do the same, - Girl's voice was higher now, as if she was taking these words deep from her soul, and finally letting them out. There can be many assumptions about the feelings of other people, but it is always a surprise when you hear it for yourself. Here she was, admitting what they both knew not only to him but even to her.

-    Shut up Hope! – His voice could be heard outside of the house, but this was the only way to end the conversation that wasn't leading them anywhere other than the words they might regret later.

-    Fine, don't worry, I will, -  A girl took the last look inside the man's dark eyes before disappearing into the kitchen and slamming the door shut.

After some time, Hope found herself sitting on the hardwood floor of the kitchen, looking at her own reflection in the glass of the old oven. She was trying to find answers to all of the questions in her reflection. How could she let it happen? What's coming next?

She couldn't lose him, not now. She could love everything, but not him.

Joel walked upstairs to the bedroom he was taking. The man thought about moving out somewhere else on the drive back home. But, it would take him at least some time to find the option and move everything he had in this house. It was just another situation he had to deal with. Killing vulnerability inside was one of the best things he ever did in his life. You can't survive if your own feelings can eat you alive. The man had no time for this bullshit anymore.

He could lose her, everything, the whole world, and still survive, and they both know it.