a/n disclaimer, this chapter involves many hints towards cyber bullying, body image and self worth. If you get triggered by any of these PLEASE do not read this chapter. This chapter also involves some content that is not the nicest towards Elliana, and I this is ONLY for story purposes and I do not mean any of this. Elliana is a sweetheart and I would never do anything to hurt her. thanks for understanding <3
Oh, I can't wait to be pretty Oh, the things that I'll do I'll kiss pretty people And live out of the blue I'll dance with the lights on In a crowded room Oh, when I'm pretty Oh, the things I'll do
Yolanda's POV:
I look over at the clock to check the time. 10:30 am already. Elliana has a dance competition today, and she still isn't awake. It's been like this for a few months now, but, that's just teenagers nowadays. They spend half the day just scrolling through TikTok or whatever. Well, she had that yesterday, today, she needs to get up and get dressed.
I walk upstairs to her bedroom, and knock on the door. "Ellie? Time to wake up sweetie."
A few minutes later I hear a cry from her room. I open the door, expecting a shout for doing so without asking, but instead I saw her sitting on her bed cross-legged with puffy eyes which tears were leaking out of.
"Ellie! Baby, what's wrong?" I hug her and she begins crying into my arms. She hasn't done this for a few years now.
"Mom, I really don't want to go to the competition. Can you tell me coach I'm sick or something?" She whispers softly and broken.
"Elliana, you need to go? What's wrong anyways? I'm sure I can make it feel better." I say.
"No mom you can't!" She suddenly screams, pulling away from me instantly.
"Ellie, darling, tell me what's going on, I'm sure with a lit-."
"Just go," she whimpers. "I need to get ready. No breakfast for me."
Elliana's POV:
My mom leaves the room a few seconds after. I can't believe I lashed out at her like that, but it's been extremely hard to tap into my emotions the past few months. I feel drained, defeated, like nobody loves me. I go into every day feeling like I'm gonna disappoint somebody, and I end every day by wishing I was someone else.
I get a notification from Instagram, and my face lights up. I love it when my friends like my posts and when my fans post edits for me! I see an account tagged me in 2 posts, and I excitedly open them.
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Did my 'fans' really think that about me? I know I'm not pretty, but I thought they'd always be the ones who make me think different.
"I can't wait to be pretty." I think to myself, staring at the mirror, pinching my stomach for not being flat enough. "It'll be fun."
*skip to dance competition*
Jentzen's POV:
I'm sitting in the audience, with Elliana's mother beside me. Yolanda asked me to come to her dance competition, as she had some anxiety over it. I'm sure she'll be amazing, the few times I've seen my beautiful girlfriend dancing she's blown my mind.
"Next, we have 'Love myself', by Elliana Walmsley!" The loudspeakers announce, and I begin clapping so hard my hands hurt. However, after a few seconds, she doesn't come out.
"Where is she?" Yolanda asks.
"I don't know. I'm gonna go check backstage," I say, and she nods. I snake through the crowd, hoping Elliana will come out soon, as I don't want her to be disqualified. I push through the curtains, and I see her on the floor, crying.
"We think she's having a panic attack." Her coach says to me, and I immediately sit down beside her, wrapping my arms around her body.
"Elliana, calm down. What's wrong?" I say, rubbing her forehead.
"I-I can't go dance! I'm such a bad dancer, and there's thousands of people at this competition and there's bright lights, and everyone will see how rubbish I am. I look so ugly and so many people will see my thighs and how wide they are and how damaged my hair is. Everyone on instagram thinks I'm ugly and I do to, but it's all just hitting me now. I don't deserve you Jentzen, you're so talented and you look amazing, something I'll never be!"
I stop dead in my tracks and she cries into her knees. I ask her coach to give us a minute and she nods, before leaving the right wing. It was just me and her, sitting in the corner, warmth flowing through the both of us to the other person.
"Elliana, I had no idea you were thinking that way," I begin, before holding her head in my hands. "You are the most funny, talented, kind and pretty girl I've ever met. I love you."
"You... you do?" She stammers.
"So much. Now go out there and kill it, ok?" I say as we both stand up.
"Ok." She says, before finally walking onto the stage and taking her starting position. I stand there in the wings, watching in awe. Why would such an amazing person doubt themselves so much? Well, I don't know what goes on in girls' minds.
Elliana's POV:
As I dance a million and one emotions go through my head. Jentzen telling me he loved me, that I was pretty enough, and that I was good enough. His voice replayed in my head, instantly putting a smile on my face.
I get out of my final position and hear a roar of applause erupt. Looking over to my left, I see Jentzen giving me a thumbs up, making me grin even more.
"So, Miss Walmsley, this dance is about being confident and loving yourself, isn't it?" The judge asks me, as I need to talk about my dance to the audience in this competition.
"Well, you could say that. But nobody's born confident, so I think it's more about the journey to loving yourself. Accepting who you are as a person and being able to smile when you look into the mirror." I say proudly.
"That's so amazing, but, have you ever felt at times it's hard to love yourself?"
"Yes, totally. But," I pause, "I'm so grateful to know that there are amazing people in my life," I look over at Jentzen, "who motivate me and encourage me to love myself everyday."
"Wow, thank you!" They say, and the crowd begins cheering once again. Why was I so nervous? This feels amazing!"
I walk off the stage towards Jentzen, who immediately pulls me into a hug.
"You were amazing!" He says, spinning me around. "I'm so proud of you."
I smile. "I'm proud too." We stare at each other for a few seconds, and I place my hands on his shoulders, and he places his around my waist. We lean in and kiss for a few seconds, and I feel safe within his arms.
"Jentzen," I say into his dark brown eyes as we pull away. "I love you too."
