Jelliana || One/Song shots

Never forget you || Zara Larrson, MNEK

I'll never forget you
You'll always be by my side
From the day that I met you
I knew that I would love you 'til the day I die

Elliana's POV:

It's been ten years.

Ten extremely long years without the love of my life, Jentzen Ramirez. His dark brown eyes which were always on me, his thick black hair which I loved to mess up, his cute little freckles that he had around his face, how deeply, madly in love I was with him.

My oldest daughter, Jenna-Lily Walmsley, hugs me. "I'll be back in a bit mom. Love you."

"Love you too," I say, but my mind is still on Jentzen. "Enjoy your date. I'm gonna go wake up your brother."

"Okay," She says, grabbing the keys to her Black 2032 Ford. Let's just say my daughters slightly addicted to vintage things. She loves messing around with the iPods shoved in the box in my moms attic. I walk up our stairs, to my son, Logan Walker Ramirez. He's 6 years younger than Jenna-Lily, who is 17. I gave birth to her when I was 21, and Logan when I was 27. I love my children with all my heart, they're all I have. I don't have Jentzen anymore, I don't dance, I lost contact with all the friends I made when I was a teenager, I'm all alone.

"Logi, time to wake up," I say, opening the door.

"Mom! You need to knock!" He says, already behaving like a teenager despite being eleven. Ignoring him, I open the grey curtains and pull down his blankets.

"Time to wake up. Your sister was awake 5 hours ago."

"It's Saturday. I have the right to wake up at," he looks over at his phone on the bedside table. "10:34 am." 

"Then up!" I say. "Make your own breakfast, I'm gonna head to the grocery store." 

"But we just went yesterday, remember?"

"Ok, I'm going somewhere else, but you don't need to know." I don't want to explain myself.

"Mom, if you're gonna leave me alone you need to tell me where you're going!"

"Logan," I say, sitting down beside him on his bed. I'm gonna have to say one day. "Your dad died 10 years ago, you were only 10 months old. I'm gonna go see his grave today." I say, trying to hold back tears. I can't let my child see me cry, I just can't. I'm meant to be the one who comforts him, not the other way around. He was silent. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Logan blurts out. "We'll be able to spend a bit more time together then." I stare into his dark brown eyes, and I watched as he grabbed a comb to brush his black, wavy hair. I see so much of Jentzen in him. My mom says Jenna-Lily looks like me, and Logan looks like him. He has the same jokester personality, he acts cool but really does care, he's smart, just like Jentzen. Everything I loved about him is in Logan. 

"No Logan, it'll, it'll be too much." I say.

"Mom, I never met him. Like you said, I wasn't even a year old when he died. Please, please let me come. That's what dad would want."

Jentzen loved seeing people happy. How would this make him happy? He'll just see me bawling my eyes out. But, he'd never seen Jentzen, and I never talked about him, because I knew I'm just too broken to do so.

"Let's go." He says, standing up and walking out the room. I sit there for a few seconds, and then follow him. I haven't tapped into my emotions for years now, and I can't run away from it forever. 

Logan's POV:

I never have known much about my father. 

I've asked mom a few times, but she's never answered. All I know is he died, I don't know when or how, and I've been living in the dark all these years. Every Father's Day I think about him, how close we could've been. My mom is great, but that figure has always been missing in my life. 

As we walk down the road, the sun radiates against my skin and I smile. I look over at mom, who seems lost, wearing a pair of flared jeans and a cropped sweatshirt, which were apparently the biggest trend as she grew up. She's 38 but when I look at photos, she looks the same. When I see my dad in photos when he was younger, one thing comes to mind. Me. 

I've asked Jenna-Lily about my dad, as she had just turned 7 when he passed away. She always told me the same things: how he would play basketball with her and flip in the park, how funny he was, the amazing stories he'd tell her before bed each night. She always told me not to talk to my mom about him, because of how crushed she was after he died. They were madly in love. She saw them getting married. He was a part of her. 

"We're here." I hear my mom speak for the first time in a while, and I follow her to a graveyard bordered with beautiful cherry blossom trees, surrounded with fields of shining sunflowers. We walk towards a grave in the corner, and sit down beside it. 

Here lies Jentzen Ramirez, who we lost far too quickly, being just 29 He was an amazing father to two amazing kids, an amazing husband for 3 years and boyfriend for 10 years. We lost him due to an unexpected heart attack, where he died happy, as he was the light in darkness, always making everybody smile. A beautiful person who deserves to be here right now, pray for Jentzen's family, friends and all those who's hearts were enlightened by him.

8th August 2006 - 17th September 2035 

Elliana's POV: 

I can't do it anymore. I burst into tears, over the grave I wish I didn't need to see. I heard Jentzen's voice say 'I love you Ellie', one of the last things he said to me before he died. 

"Mom, it's okay." I hear Logan say. I turn over to him, water swimming in my eyes. 

"Logan, I see so much of, of Jentzen in you. After all these years, I haven't forgotten him. It's because I'm reminded of him everyday, through you. Not just your appearance, your personality, how much you both care about me. I haven't talked about him for years but he's right in the front of my mind all day, every day. And I love you so much Logan, not only because you're amazing, because you're the person who makes me remember him." I say, my tears slowly reducing. "He was amazing."

"I wish I could've met him."

"For those 10 months, he loved you. Even more than I do, and that's impossible." 

"I love you mom."

"I love you more Logi." I hug him, and we go pick a sunflower from the enormous fields. He puts two down, 1 for himself and 1 for Jenna-Lily, and I put 1 down. 

Jentzen Ramirez, I will never forget you.

1179 words :)