First Sight

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Charlize's POV

Later that night, Lexie and I unloaded the car and helped her get settled with Lizzie in the guest room.

"I am going to put the girls to bed. I'll be back shortly." I tell her. I left and went to help Jackson and August get ready for bed.

When I got back, Lexie was putting Lizzie in the cot.

"I bet the girls are thrilled that I am back." She said.

"Not as much as I am."

"I've missed them and you."

"We've missed you, too. Are you okay? You seem off?" I asked her in concern.

"I'm fine. I've been having nightmares lately. Ever since that night." She whispered.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" I asked. She nodded.

"Charlize?"

"Yeah, Lex?"

"I am sorry for what I said about you being like your father."

"It's okay. I deserved it after how I treated you. I shouldn't have been so horrible to you." I tell her.

"Can we go to bed now?"

"Of course my love."

We laid down and Lexie immediately climbed to me. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead.

"You are where I belong. You Lizzie and the girls are my home. When I am with you I know I am safe. As long as I am with you I know I'll be okay." Lexie says.

"I'm so sorry, Lexie. I hurt you and took that safety away." I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"It's okay, Char."

"No, it's not. I was horrible to you. I called you by your last name and I was so cold toward you. I regret it more than anything. I mean I hurt you."

"Hey, babe, it's alright. You were hurting, too. That's all in the past. We have each other again." She tells me.

"I know but..."

"Charlize, I forgive you. Please stop beating yourself up over this."

"Let's just get some sleep." I said changing the subject.

"Okay. I love you, Charlize!" Lexie smiled and kissed me.

"I love you, too, Lexie!"

I held her close and she nuzzled her head into my neck. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

I woke hours later when I heard Lexie mumbling and crying. I tried everything to wake her, but nothing worked. She finally seemed to wake.

"Please! Don't!" She was still trying to wake up completely.

"Hey, Lexie. It's okay. I'm here. Baby, look at me." I said, worry lining my voice. She finally woke up completely.

"It was a dream?" She whimpered, sounding slightly relieved.

"Yeah. You're safe. Are you okay?"

"Not really. If the nightmares aren't about losing you then they are about him coming back."

"You filed a restraining order against him, right? What was the reason?"

"He hates kids and sometimes he scared me. The only part I remember about the night Lizzie was conceived was the sex. Everything else is a blur because we were so drunk. He was also extremely jealous. I never told him I liked women because I knew he would be pissed."

"Did he ever hit you or anything?"

"No. Nothing like that. The most physically forceful I've seen him was the day he showed up here and kissed me."

"Was this nightmare about him?" I ask.

"Yes." She said. She threw the covers off and grabbed her water.

"You're drenched in sweat, babe."

"The nightmares happen when I get hot or extremely upset. Either way, I wake up sweating."

"Are you upset? Did I upset you?" I ask her feeling slightly guilty and insecure.

"No, baby. I guess I am just scared that something might happen. It is not your fault. But I am burning up right now." She said, fanning herself.

"If you need to take off your shirt, you can. I just want to help make you comfortable." I tell her. She nods and removes her shirt, leaving her in a nursing bra.

We went back to sleep around 1:30 and Lexie slept without any more nightmares. Four hours later, we woke up to the sound of Lizzie crying. Lexie began to get out of bed, but I stopped her.

"She needs to nurse." Lexie protests. 

"I will bring her to you," I say. She sat up and sighed contently.

I got out of bed and picked up Lizzie, immediately noticing the excessive heat coming off her body.

"She is burning up, Lex." I say to Lexie. She opens the drawer of the nightstand and pulls out Lizzie's thermometer.

"Bring her to me." She says. I walk over to her side of the bed and sit down on the edge of the bed. She took Lizzie's temperature and sighed.

"Is she running a fever?" I ask. Lexie nods.

"Yeah, but I still need to nurse her."

"What do you think is causing it?" I ask as she takes Lizzie out of my arms.

"I don't know. It could be anything from a cold to an ear infection. I will call and make an appointment later today."

"She acts like her face is hurting." I observed. Lexie began nursing and winced.

"She has been doing that a lot lately. I think I just found out why."

"Why? What is it?"

"I can feel the rigid beginning of a tooth. She is teething. I need to start pumping and get her acclimated to bottle feeding."

"Is that why she has a fever?"

"I think so. They say all the discomfort goes away after postpartum recovery but that is a lie. The truth is being a mom means constant physical discomfort. Especially when they are this young or they are hurting."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not in this case, baby, but it's okay. Like I said, I just need to pump more and bottle feed from now on."

"Well, at least you are home again and you have me to support you in any way I can." I said, feeling slightly insecure.

"There is nowhere else I would rather be. I love you and one day I hope to marry you."

"I hope so too. I love you, Lexie, so so much."

"I love you, too, Charlize. Please don't doubt that."

"I can't help it. I just feel so insecure lately. I feel like I might not be enough for you."

"Char, you are enough. You are more than enough. You are everything and more to me."

"I don't want to hurt you or lose you again."

"Hey, I am right here and I am not going anywhere. You could never hurt me like that again, baby."