Eight Letters

Chapter 16

Elliana's Point Of View

"Love, you're hurting me," she sadly chuckled.

"Prioritize your studies over me," mariing sabi ko.

Her eyes roam around the room to avoid eye contact with me. Yvonne hardly swallowed as if there's something stuck in her throat.

"I love you—"

"I know! I know, Yvonne. But that love is too much, you're ruining something because of love. And that's unhealthy for you."

Nawalan ng emosyon ang mukha nito st sinalubong ang tingin ko. Her eyes were cold and I can't help but to feel scared.

"Sinasabi mo ba na makikipaghiwalay ka sa 'kin?"

"What? Wala akong sinabing gano'n!" napapadyak ako sa inis.

"It sounds like it," the coldness of her voice sent shivers to my body.

"Hindi ko sinabing gusto kong makipaghiwalay sa 'yo. Ibang usapan ang bagay na 'yon. Yvonne, nililihis mo 'yong usapan."

"Fine. Yes, it's my mistake. I dedicated my time to make the blueprint. Mali ako, inaamin ko 'yon. That's the reason why I'm here, standing in front of you, to say sorry. Hindi mo kasalanan, kasalanan ko kasi naging pabaya ako."

I thought she'd lash out on me and say mean things to me. She heaved a long sigh and tiredly smiled st me.

"Umuwi ka na."

"Galit ka pa."

"Oo, at hindi huhupa ang galit ko agad-agad. Si Tita na mismo ang tumawag at nanghihingi ng tulong, Yvonne. Nakakahiya!"

I unexpectedly broke down into tears out of frustration. 'Yong hiya na nararamdaman ko ay umaapaw. Tita sees me as a good woman and a good example to her daughter.

"Elli."

"Please, umuwi ka na."

"Elli, pag-usapan natin 'to. I'm sorry. Hindi na mauulit."

"Hindi na talaga!" hindi napigilang sigaw ko.

Bahagyang napaatras si Yvonne dahil sa pagsigaw ko. Bumadha rin ang gulat at sakit sa mukha nito. My heart sank because of her reaction.

"Umuwi ka na. Huwag mo muna akong kausapin. Huwag mo ng dagdagan ang galit ko, Yvonne."

Walang ibang sinabi si Yvonne. Nilapag lang nito ang bitbit na drawing tube. Lumingon pa ulit ito sa 'kin bago tuluyang lumabas. My knees went jelly.

Nasasakal ako. Nahihirapang huminga. Wala akong pakialam kung ano ng itsura ko ngayon. All I can think of is the pain inside me.

Kinagabihan ay umuwi ako na mugtong-mugto ang mga mata. I crawled down my bed. Flashes of Yvonne's face appeared and I can't help but sob. Siguro iniisip pa rin ni Yvonne na gusto kong maghiwalay kami. No. I would never leave her.

I love my girlfriend and leaving her is the last thing I'd do. I want to call her and tell her how much I love her. But I couldn't. I'm mad at myself for being so inconsiderate of her feelings. I wasn't thinking straight. Hindi ko dapat siya sinigawan. Sana ay pinakinggan ko ang sasabihin niya.

I locked myself in my room the next day. Hindi na ako nag-abalang bumangon at tumulala nalang buong araw. Iniisip kung tatawagan si Yvonne at mags-sorry o umiyak nalang ng umiyak.

This is me and my 'magulong isip' against the world.

"Umuwi na si Yvonne kagabi. Nag-message na rin naman daw siya sa Professor niya at sinabing papasok na this week."