Love For Too Many

Chapter 51

Y/n

The days pass slowly and unbearably lonely. Wendy has never looked this sad. We only leave the house long enough to refill on food. Being in the second trimester of this pregnancy isn't as fun as I imagined it'd be.

I'd imagined that Sev and I would be doing gender reveals and baby showers and photo shoots like the muggles take. Spending more time with Wendy as a family so she doesn't feel replaced. But instead, I'm spending all my time with Wendy and none with Severus. I haven't heard from him or spoken to him since that night.

It's April which means I have 5-6 months left of this pregnancy and I have no idea how this is going to work. I may still be in hiding in September, the war may be starting or it could've already happened at that point. All I can hope for is that Severus can take care of himself in these next few months.

"Momma?" Wendy asks as she leaves our room.

"Yes bug?"

"I miss Daddy, when can I see him again?"

Tears start forming in the corner of my eyes. She still doesn't really know what's going on. "I'm not sure. Daddy has a lot of work to do and we have to stay away for the time being."

"Okay." She comes over to me and sits on my lap. She rests her head on me and cuddles in. I stroke her hair while we sit in silence but I can feel her gears grinding in her head. She's trying to figure something out. I don't push her though, I'm trying to figure things out as well.

Severus:

The students know something is wrong. They have for weeks. I've made an unbreakable vow with Narcissa and now I have to make a sacrifice I never imagined would be needed. I have to kill Dumbledore. I would never make poor Draco do so. That's absurd.

It's not long now before the dark lord catches on to our madness. When he does so, the whole lot of us will go up in flames. But then so does he, he only has so many faithful servants at this point. Even the "new recruits" are petrified and are only joining because they feel like they must. Take Draco for example.

Draco is only joining because of his father. Lucius is a scoundrel and is an absolute arse who needs to pull his head out of said ass. I cannot believe I used to be friends with him, especially once he made that horrendous move on Y/n.

Y/n, i miss her with every fiber in my being. Having to return to my old self is excruciatingly painful knowing how much good she brought me and the school. I want to try and reach out, I want to find her, but it's best if no one knows her location. If the dark lord gets ahold of her because of me, I'll never forgive myself.

But Minerva will never forgive me if I'm late for tea... again.

"Severus! I'm going to knock your head right off your shoulders!"

"I'm 13 seconds past on time Minerva, there's no need for beheading. The clock is still going and I'm not late. Relax."

"I'm going to have a heart attack from you and I've already gone through the generations of crazies students and teachers. Why can't you ever be early?"

"Because Minnie, then my dramatics and fast paced walking in the hallways wouldn't be so majestic and terrifying would they?"

Her eyes roll so far back they're almost completely white. "No wonder you and-" she pauses. "Anywho, don't be on time from now on, on time is late and early is on time."

"But you said not to be on time. So I should come late then. Okay will do." Minerva slaps a hand on her face and drags it down dramatically.

"I'm done with you. Your tea is ready at the table. Mine's just finishing brewing."

"Mmhmm, okay." I laugh at her and head to our tea time table. Now that Y/n's gone I've taken her place in tea time gossip. Not for much longer, but as a transition. You never quit anything cold turkey.

She rejoins me back at my table and frowns at me over her mug. "What?" I ask offended at the deep level of upset her frown gave me.

"You're going back to your old ways Severus. Even without her you should be more cheery."

"The dark lord believes that the happiness was a facade to make everyone believe I was falling in love with her and turning good. Then I would keep my place as his dark pet and betray all of you. If she runs and the happiness fades it goes along with my story anyway. She fled Minerva, she left me and took my kids with her without an explanation. I don't need to be cheery."

"You're a con man who's gotten so good at his game, that he's conning himself. You haven't even grieved her."

"She's not dead!" I snap back.

"No, but you've lost her in your life and you didn't get a transition period. She just left."

"Don't think I don't know that."

I'm the last few days and weeks I've slowly opened back up with Minerva. She's my best and only friend after all. But I'm still lying to her on why Y/n left. It's killing me but I've done my fair share of lying in this lifetime even she couldn't tell the difference.

Tea time comes and goes with scoldings and gossip of student relations. Something Y/n would have thrived on.

I head back to my room before class and sit down on my couch with my wand in hand. I cannot risk her at all. Especially with Minerva asking so many questions. I'll give us away, I'll give her away. So I do what I have to do. I oblivate myself.