𝐯 𝗼 𝐢 𝐜 𝐞 𝐬 [𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱]

T|hree

silence.

that's something felix hasn't gotten in a while.

even when it's four am, and all his bandmates are asleep.

even with his noise-canceling headphones that play no music.

the voices are always there.

and they aren't stopping soon.

they drag him down and give him a migraine, they ruin him, he can't sleep, he can't eat, he can't even get out of his bed sometimes. but he has to he doesn't have a choice he needs to please stays, he needs to be there for the members.

sometimes felix wished he could let the voices take over.

that would be the easy way, to cave into the thoughts and allow himself to do self-harming actions.

he's given almost everything up, his sleep, his soul. his eating patterns.

but something he has yet to give away is his skin.

because that's something that he can't hide.

felix knows that once he starts to cut he won't be able to stop.

he's so overwhelmed. he doesn't know what to do or who he can't talk to, for a matter of fact, who he could trust.

he's so tired, he just wants to curl up into a ball and cry. he doesn't want to be strong anymore, but he doesn't want to keep giving himself up, but what is he supposed to do?

five minutes before they all leave for breakfast and he's practically having a panic attack. his heart is racing, his view is blurry and he feels like he can't stand.

all because hyunjin caught him throwing away a stupid protein bar.

he heard a knock on the door and his heart stopped, breathing hitched. he held his tears in.

"felix hyung, are you okay? you've been in here in a while and we're leaving now," jeongin says in a worried tone.

"oh– im fine– don't worry about me im just going to stay home," his voice was shaky, he wasn't speaking normally and jeongin can hear his small sniffles.

"hyung you sure you're okay? you should like you're crying, are you hurt? do you need help, i can come in and help you," jeongin was worried. felix hasn't responded back to him in a couple of minutes. he's scared that felix might be hurt or passed out. he runs to the living room and pats hyunjin.

hyunjin turns around and sees innie's eyes and his scared expression. felix's in the bathroom and he sounds like he's crying and he won't respond to me, hyung im scared, what if he's hurt?"

hyunjin's eyes widened, and he tried to be calm for the mankaes sake, "it's okay, im sure he's fine, im going to go check on him why don't you go tell chan for me, okay?"

jeongin nodded and as soon as he turned around, hyunjin ran to the bathroom and knocked on the door worriedly.

"lix, it's just me are you okay? i want to help you, can you talk to me?" hyunjin pleaded.

hyunjin heard sobs coming from the other side of the door, "im tired jinnie, im so tired,"

hyunjin's heart broke, why was felix crying who hurt his lixie, "come on lix, open the door, please. i want to help you," but he got no response.

hyunjin tried to speak again but before he could chan came with the key to the bathroom, he didn't know what was going on but from jeongin's reaction he could tell it wasn't good. he was going to open the door but he wanted to see if felix could open it willingly before he barged in there.