𝐯 𝗼 𝐢 𝐜 𝐞 𝐬 [𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱]

F|our

after that day in the bathroom, felix worked himself to the bone.

he needed to distract himself from his thoughts. he couldn't bare them anymore.

every day from morning to night, felix would be in the studio either dancing or practicing his vocals. when people told him its time to eat, he said he already did, or he was not feeling it.

multiple people came every day to see him for the past week and tried to convince him to come home and rest, but they failed every time to bring the blonde home.

the times they would bring him trays of food and sit with him when he eats (especially chan and hyunjin) he would say thank you and eat it right in front of them. the members would be happy, and as long as he was eating and getting at least some sleep, could they really stop him?

all the members had a period of time where they would work nonstop to produce perfection. and ever since the bathroom incident, felix started to think all the members treated him like glass. they wouldn't bring up certain topics and they wouldn't get into deep personal random conversations with him anymore, not wanting to spark a panic attack in him.

when the members came home that day of the bathroom incident, he apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. but all of them brushed it off and didn't care that felix broke down, (didn't care about the fact that they knew everyone has their setbacks and bad days).

hyunjin would see felix during practice and he would be sweating bullets but every move would be precise, hyunjin smiled, felix is in his drive right now, and isn't that a good thing?

it was not.

the past week felix has actually been boiling over the edge, in depression and anger.

all the food in his stomach ended up in the toilet.

he would never sleep. the little times he did come home he would be so in his thoughts that he couldn't even close his eyes.

the voices didn't allow him.

you're weak

you don't matter

you shouldn't be here

but he still kept going.

until it was monday.

one week after the whole breakdown.

"felix are you okay?" changbin asked him while they were taking a break from practice.

felix was hunched over, panting heavily, hands on his knees, he was sweating bullets and his mind was foggy.

"yeah im good, i just need to run the dance one more time," he said trying to get himself together.

changbin nodded as minho got everyone back together to run the dance again.

while running it, felix looked so out of it, hyunjin looked at him in the mirror, turned his head one way for a sec then looked back over.

felix wasn't there, he was on the floor, totally passed out.

hyunjin was first to run to felix, as the others rushed around too. hyunjin held felix's head on his knees as he tried to shake him to wake up.

"felix? felix please what's wrong, you have to wake up?" hyunjin pleaded as he started crying.

seungmin was shocked as he held jeongin in a tight hug as seeing people faint triggered the younger.

minho and chan were on the floor checking felix's pulse and trying to wake felix up as well.

chan's eyes went wide,

felix's pulse was so soft and slow.

he tapped minho's hand and he checked the plus as well, not wanting to alert the others about it because that would make them feel even worse.

the thought that they might lose their bandmate,

no, not their bandmate, their family member. that's what they are to each other.

family.

all hyunjin wants to do is go to the dorms and play around and love his members.

all 8 of them.

not seven.

minho nodded and turned around, "jisung, you need to call an ambulance," he tried to stay as calm as possible.

jisung got straight to it, he wanted to say something to comfort hyunjin, or everyone for that matter, even himself,

but he didn't know what to say.

changbin ran out of the room to go get the manager.

hyunjin was sobbing, "chan why do we need an ambulance? hyung why isn't he waking up?? chan hyung please tell me he's going to wake up!"

chan tried to be calm, "felix is okay he just needs to see the doctor okay, don't worry,"

but all hyunjin could do was worry.

felix looked pale, emaciated, and sick. it was like he was skin and bones. he had bags underneath his eyes, his lips dry.

hyunjin hoped it was like the movies. all felix needed was a kiss to wake up. everything will be okay.

hyunjin didn't know why but he asked chan a question, "h-hyung ca-can I k-kiss him?", he felt compelled to press his lips on the other. like he was saying goodbye or apologizing for not helping and noticing sooner.

before chan can say anything, the emergency workers came and took felix out of hyunjin's arms so quickly he didn't have to fight back, "stop it! give him back to me!" he yelled at his manager and lee know were holding him back.

lee know had to trap hyunjin in his arms for him to stop pushing people out of the way.

he has never seen hyunjin like this.

he was sobbing, trying to break out of minho's hold, yelling profanities at him, kicking and screaming like a child.

"hyung let me go! let me be with him, let go of me!" hyunjin cried out.

chan called out to minho, "im going to go in the ambulance with him," minho nodded knowing that as the second oldest, he has to take care of his team who was falling apart.

"hyunjin, please calm down, you need to calm down," minho tried to reason with him. as soon as he saw the ambulance leave out the window he let the other out of his grasp.

hyunjin was so tired he just sank to his knees, bringing down minho with him, "hyung why am i so stupid? why didn't i see the signs? i can't believe i allowed him to push himself so hard. i knew something was going on and i did nothing to stop him!" he cried into minho's chest.

"jinnie, it's okay, felix will be okay. he just needs a checkup. don't blame yourself, this is not your fault. you didn't know what was going on and you did try, don't self-destruct. how would felix feel if he knew you blamed yourself? hyunjin, he'd write a trilogy on how much it wasn't your fault," minho let out a small sad giggle.

hyunjin nodded his head profusely as he wiped his tears but he still looked a mess.

"how about you go wash your face and i call a car and we can meet chan at the hospital okay?"

the distressed boy nodded his head as he got up with minho's help and went to the bathroom.

minho didn't forget about the rest of the members. while hyunjin was in the bathroom he went to every member and gave them a hug, especially jeongin, as he was the one that found felix in the bathroom first, and he blamed himself he didn't do anything to help.

the whole group looked in pain, they were in pain.

but as minho promised, he called a car, he had the boys put on masks and hats so they didn't get any fans' attention.

their manager drove them to the hospital in silence.

silence...

they stayed silent for felix, because felix didn't get any silence himself.

_________-

(wc;1271)