𝐯 𝗼 𝐢 𝐜 𝐞 𝐬 [𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱]

E|leven

it's six in the morning when hyunjin wakes up.

well, waking up isn't the right word, since hyunjin barely got any sleep last night. he was too busy worrying about felix.

right now, felix is the lowest he has been in forever. hyunjin has never seen him like this, and none of the members have. all the members have their bad days and yes, felix has his fair share too. but they can usually be solved with some cuddles and sweet treats.

but now, hyunjin doesn't think that felix can just cuddle this one away.

yesterday, when hyunjin saw his true love on the floor, blood all over his hands, and tears streaming down his face creating waterfalls. that look of hopelessness, that look of solitude. he never wants to see felix like that again. he wants to know what's really going on with his soulmate, with his best friend.

he looks at felix on the bed. he looks emaciated and sick. he's so thin you could hold his wrist with his pointer finger and thumb. and his face, he's never seen anyone just look so, sad. his eyelids are red, he has black bags under his eyes, and even his skin looks pale.

hyunjin feels like crying, no he actually starts crying. he feels like it's his fault. he let felix go into the bathroom alone, he was the one that knew felix was doing badly and he did nothing about it. or is he just upset that he's not enough for felix to want to stay?

it sounds selfish, hyunjin feels horrible about even thinking about himself in this situation. but he just wants to know why felix doesn't feel the love he's giving. he wants to show him in a multitude of ways. he wants to wake up with felix every day and drink coffee with him in the morning, (even though he knows felix hates bitter coffee, he'll make him tea).

he wants to grow old together with felix and have a family with him, to die with felix. It's everything or nothing in his mind. hyunjin doesn't realize he's actually crying, but maybe he needs this cry. he's been bottling up so many emotions and pushing himself aside so that he can be there for felix but he hasn't really been there for himself.

there hasn't been one day in the past month hyunjin has woken up and said he wanted to do something for himself. it's always, preparing food for felix, washing laundry for felix, making sure felix takes showers and brushes his teeth, makes sure he's not hurting himself.

but he doesn't mind doing that, he loves felix, and he wants to be there for him, to help him threw this rough time. but you have to consider your own feelings sometimes. hyunjin wants to make sure he doesn't go down the same path as felix. we want him and felix to love life and be happy.

"jinnie...?"

hyunjin turns around and sees felix rubbing his tired eyes, sitting up, "jinnie why are you crying?" his voice is deep but so soft at the same time. his voice is smooth and dreamy. hyunjin loves felix's voice, he loves his laughs and loves when he sings.

hyunjin didn't want felix to see him so upset so he wiped his tears and turned around to face the other, "good morning lixie, it's early you should lay back down," hyunjin spoke softly, placing a kiss on felix's forehead.

felix hummed and closed his eyes when the other placed a kiss on his forehead, but he still wanted to know what was going on with his hyung, "hyung why are you crying?" felix asked and then looked directly into hyunjin's eyes.

and that's when it hit him, hyunjin's crying because of him. hyunjin looks tired too even though he tries to hide it. hyunjin isn't taking care of himself since he's so focused on felix. the younger can feel tears pooling into his own eyes but blinks them away, it's not his moment right now,

"hyung, please don't cry over me. I'm so sorry that I haven't been paying attention to you, this is my fault, I'll give you some space okay?" felix gave hyunjin a hug and started to get off the bed but he was stopped.