How To Hate

Pain

I woke up to a wet pillow and the smell of breakfast.

I used the bathroom and went into the kitchen. I saw my moms Bestfriend Claudia, cooking. She was like an aunt to me, her and my mom have been Bestfriends since high school.

"Heyyyy pumpkin. I'm so sorry. " she said while hugging me making me tear up again.

"I love you and breakfast will be ready in about 15 minutes. You need to eat something." She said to me.

I just nodded because ain't no debating with her. I went to find my mom and she was in her bed sobbing.

I laid next to her in my dads spot and hugged her.

Once the food was done, Anika brought us our plates.

I started eating but my mom sat her plate on the night stand.

"I'm not hungry" my mom said.

"Mama you have to eat. Or im going to go get auntie Claudy " Anika said.

"I don't care. Im grown" she said back.

Here we go. Anika left out the room and came back with auntie Claudy.

"Anita, Don't make me force this food down your throat."

"Not now Claudy. I'm not in the mood". My mom said.

"Do you want to walk around here sick , can barely get out of bed and end up in the hospital ? Because if you don't, that's what's going to happen. Please eat, even if it's a little bit. Eat for your girls and your grandkids." Aunt Claudy said.

My mom took the plate and ate a little bit.

A few hours later, a bunch of our family members from both sides came to the house. My friends came as well as Wayne, Silk, Papi, Maine, and Juvi. We all sat around talking about my dad, played music and we danced.

My aunts decided to cook a bunch of food and my uncles put food on the grill since it was so many people there. Half of us were sitting on the floor, so they sat up the tables and chairs outside like they did for the barbecue.

I was so thankful for my family, friends and Wayne for coming through for us.

Later on that day, everyone left except for my aunt Claudy, Anika and her kids, my mom, my aunts who are my moms older twin sisters (Brenda and Bridgett) and Wayne.

I was laying on my bed looking at the picture of my dad and I , when Wayne walked into my old bedroom.

"I'm sooo sorry baby" he said.

"Thank you for being here for me" I said trying not to tear up.

"Anytime. I love you" he said just before kissing me on my forehead.

"I love you too". I said.

"You going home tonight"?

"Yes. I'll probably come back tomorrow or the day after next" .

"What time you leaving here because I'm staying the night with you, idgaf what you say".

"Now. I'm about to go say bye to my people"

Wayne and I talked for a few minutes with my family and then we both left. I decided to leave my car here and he drove us to my house.

Once we got inside, I got in the shower and cried. I stayed in there crying for about an hour. Wayne asked me was I okay through the door a million times.

I put on a big tshirt and some underwear then laid in my bed. Wayne put his phone down and pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arm around me then kissed the back of my neck. Shortly after, we both fell asleep.