Run

Emma

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had not realized how much my appearance had changed since Tuck had died. I looked like a shell of a person who I used to be. My brown hair had got long as I hadn't had a hair cut in months. I was probably the fittest I have ever been, likely because of all the running. My face looked smaller due to losing weight. My blue eyes showed pain, but still vibrant as the day I was born; the only thing bright in my life now. If I really cared I would say I actually looked good, someone I would have wanted to look like before Tuck had died, but I didn't care anymore. I had no one to impress and was too depressed to care about trying to fix myself up, but honestly I was never really a girly girl. I would usually put some mascara on and that was the most of it. Thanks to my dad I was blessed with a darker complexion thanks to his native American background. That was all my dad gave me as he left us when I was a child, but I have seen pictures.

I put some shorts and a tshirt on and grabbed my keys to walk outside slowly moving forward contemplating going back in and going to bed, but I know I have to do this to get my mom off my back and honestly as much as I don't want to I know Tuck would be disappointed if I didn't start living again knowing I have the opportunity to live and he doesn't. I can see his frown and disapproval now. I smirk, but it's just another memory. Sometimes I am fearful of losing my memory of Tuck; how he smelled, his smile and personality.

I try to shrug off the sadness the best I can and continue to head down to the shore, it was a short distance and there was a sidewalk from my house to the beach so it was a real quick and easy walk. I arrive and can hear the music blaring to something I am unfamiliar with. I slowly walk up to the bonfire and see Lindsey and Abigail standing beside Brady and Zach.

Lindsey and Zach had got married shortly after Tuck and I. Abigail and Brady were still single enjoying their late 20's with parties every weekend in the city. Before Tuck died we all spent time together every weekend, summers were mainly spent here on the beach with a bonfire.

When I walked up to them they instantly jumped with excitement to see me. Everyone went in for a hug at the same time. I obliged knowing they would pin me down if I didn't hug them.

"Emma, we didn't think you would show." Brady instantly regretted saying it as Abigail elbowed him.

I smiled and replied, "It's ok. Honestly, I didn't think I would either, but figured I gotta get out eventually.'' Everyone came in for a group hug again. We made small talk after that talking about what they had been up to cause I obviously had not been up to anything other than wallowing in self pity. I was kind of drifting off in my thoughts when they brought up Luke.

Luke was my best friend, before the others and before Tuck. But when Tuck and I became a thing they became closer as friends. After high school graduation we all went to different schools but every summer we came back for summer bash and spent all our summers together. We of course stayed in touch throughout the years while at school or off working. But not Luke. He came back the first couple summers then slowly stopped making it back. Luke didn't go to college so he could pursue his music career. He actually did very well and became a very famous country music star. The last couple years he would still text and catch up occasionally with all of us, Tuck even went out on the road with him a couple times for a "boy's trip". After while, his tours didn't bring him back for small town summers, but when Tucker died he was the only one I waited to come to the funeral and he didn't. No text or calls. I guess he forgot about all of us. The death of Tuck and the baby was hard enough, let alone I did it without having the one person I probably would of leaned on. I never wanted to see that man again, I was so mad at him!

I realized that everyone went off in individual conversation so I snuck away to sit by the fire to try and remember the good memories before leaving. I found a chair and sat there for few minutes and started to tear up thinking of the last time I sat here. It was Tuck, me and the gang, minus Luke, and we were talking about how far we had came in life. As I was dreaming and honestly crying silently I heard a familiar voice and hand grab my shoulder. "Emma?"

I turned to see blue eyes that had once been my best friend, later Tucker's best friend staring back at me, it was Luke.

I jumped up and was honestly lost for words. I couldn't even form a word. I just grabbed my keys and phone and walked away. He quickly caught up and grabbed my arm. "Emma, please let me explain."

I stopped turning to look at him and back down at my arm where he was gripping it hard, "for what Luke? What do you want to explain? Why haven't you been back in summers or why you didn't return for your best friend's funeral? Not even a text or call for explanation at the time and you want to explain 6 months later?" I yanked my arm back and started to walk off. I was so angry. He still followed and had the audacity to add, "you don't understand..." I think he knew instantly he had made a mistake.

I stopped in my steps, slowly turned around. "I don't understand? I don't understand what it's like to lose a best friend? To lose a spouse? Or better yet to lose a child on the same night?" I couldn't stop, all of my built up anger started rolling. I was inches from his face when I laid into him. "Luke you were who I waited for at the funeral, we ran behind because I knew you wouldn't miss the opportunity to say goodbye to your best friend. I thought selfishly if you wouldn't be there for Tucker you would be there for me, your best friend since childhood. But no, I went through so much pain without the one person I wanted by my side. Someone who I felt like could understand somewhat of what I was going through. Luke, you disappointed me and I will never forgive you." As I am literally catching breath from yelling at him I realize everyone is watching and I realize what I just said. I had spoken about our baby out loud. I saw the pity again in everyone's eye and instantly regretted coming tonight. I did the only thing I knew how to do here lately. I ran. I ran straight home, packed a bag and knew I was getting out of town for a while. Within minutes of getting home, which was a quick run, I was packed and in the car within five minutes and I hit the road.