Run

Emma

It had been one year. Today marked the anniversary of Tuck's death. It had been three months since I left Luke in Nashville. A lot had happened. I was trying to focus on me. When I got back home after finding out my dead husband had cheated multiple times on me, including with one of my best friends I felt so many emotions. I was angry, confused and dead. I felt dead inside. I didn't know what to do next. But I started to look around in my house and all I saw was his face and at first I wanted to rip all the pictures off the wall, but then I looked at the photos deeper and realized how happy I was, but he wasn't.

I started replaying so many situations, but one stood out to me. Tuck and and I were on a date, at this point we may had been dating for a couple years, but I remember telling him it was time to settle and get down on one knee. I remember him laughing and saying he didn't want to get married. I thought he was joking. Over time I believe I pressured him into the life I pictured. I did truly love Tuck and I believe that he loved me, but we wanted two different things. It was no excuse for what he did. Over time I am coming to peace with his death and what he did to me. I am glad we shared what we did and I will always mourn the loss of our baby, but it was time to focus on what I wanted and my future now.

So when I got home that night, I decided to pack everything and find my next stop. I called my mom and told her everything. I told her I needed her help in not letting anyone, especially Luke know where I was. She agreed. Also, the next day I called the school I had applied to work at and told them that I would no longer be interested in the position. I got in my car and drove until I felt like I was at my stopping point. I drove for days, staying in hotels, not sure if I would ever find the place and then I finally landed in California. I still had my money from Tuck's death so I used a good portion of it and bought a small house on the beach. I listed and sold my house back home.

I was still getting text from everyone always checking in. Luke texted me for the first month and the last text I received was:

Emma, I love you, but if time is what you need then I will wait for an eternity. I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner. That is what I had planned on coming back for. It was a mistake keeping it from you, but I didn't want to break you any more.

That was it. I had not heard from him in three months and I was not ready to contact him. I honestly was coping well, considering. I was broke, but I think what he thought would break me only made me stronger than I have ever been. I miss Luke, but I don't know if I will ever trust him again.

Since I got to California I have spent my days by the beach and enjoying local cuisine. I had gained some weight from eating so much, but was becoming a better version of myself. I had not met many people, but I did meet one guy named Mark. He saw me getting a coffee one morning and asked me if I wanted to volunteer at a local hospital. Honestly, it was heaven sent cause I needed something to do. I signed up and started the next day. We've been meeting for coffee a couple days a week ever since then. We talked and sometimes we just sat in silence. It's not physical or romantic, it's just a good friend. I have told him my life story and he was always so amazed. He was like a free psychiatrist. He was team Luke and I was team me. He thought I should talk it out with Luke. And like I would tell him every day, I will one day, and I do plan on doing just that. But not no time soon. Luke, needs to realize happiness is out there with out me. As much as it hurts I really think Luke deserves someone better. I was mad at Luke for not telling me, but I get it to a degree. He was in the middle of a very sticky situation.

Today, Mark and I had decided to go to the local market, I don't have to worry about running in to people I know at this one though. We walked through the entire thing and as I rounded the corner near produce a very familiar body was turned away from me looking at another stand. I quickly turned and looked at Mark with wide eyes, "He's here."

"Who's here?" Mark is all but beaming lasers at him trying to find who "he" was.

"Luke."

"The Luke!?"

"Yes, we need to get out of here. I can't do this. Not right now." I turn a corner practically dragging Mark and before I know it I run smack into a hard chest. Luke's chest.

"Sorry.....Emma?" I am pretty sure he was in complete shock and I was speechless. How did he find me?

"Hey, Luke." I stand back. He looked better than he did before some how. I looked at Mark then back to Luke. "How did you find me?"

"I wasn't trying." He was still in disbelief. Looking me up and down as if he was shocked I was alive. "I have a show tomorrow in two towns over and I try not to shop in those towns cause people are usually trying to find me. You look amazing. How are you?" He looked concerned by how I would answer.

"I am doing good. Taking one day at a time." I realize I hadn't introduced Mark. "This is Mark he's a good friend, honestly the only friend I have made here." Luke looks relieved as I tell him he's my friend. Shakes his hand. Mark is just quietly observing this train wreck.

"Emma. I am so glad I ran into you, it's like it's faith." I smile and think or God is trying to be funny.

"It's great running into you as well. We will let you go on your way, we were finishing up any way." I start to walk away because I didn't know what else to do. And he grabbed my arm.

"Emma, my show is not until tomorrow, could I convince you to get supper with me?" I wasn't ready for that, but my words were out before my thoughts.

"Yes."

He looked shocked. We made plans at a small diner in town at five tonight. What was I doing, why would I punish myself? As I walked away I looked at Mark.

"What did I just agree to?"

"It looks like you have a date with the love of your life." I rolled my eyes because he is convinced that Luke is the love of my life. But if I am being honest, he may be. But I didn't know if I was ready to explore that again. What had I done?