DEVIANT HEARTS| HEESEUNG

38-NAKED HEARTS

Chapter 38

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

My mind is ticking bombs.

Golden rays were supposed to warm my body when I opened my eyes this morning, but they seem to not work today. I just felt the cold wrap inside my bones to my ribs until it was frozen. And I wish I could take the snowfall between my hands and warm them up until I'm warm enough to realize what I have done with my life until I realize that he was gone and I let him.

The hues of the bedroom move from impressionist pastels to brilliant pop art. I woke up suddenly, every thought in high definition as if I did not know what was happening and what would happen. My eyes take in every ray of light and without a doubt, I know I slept too long. Pretended to be. Though my eyes are open I can't think of why I let him do it; my heart is pounding, mind empty. It's as if a hypodermic of adrenaline has been emptied into my carotid. I strain into the utter darkness, my breathing rate beginning to steady.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

As realization hits my thoughts for the time this morning, my brain begins to bring back the ancient events.

He left.

He left and I knew he would.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

I didn't have to stand up and check if he was there or not, or if he was just walking around in the morning rays. I was sure. Heeseung left me on the naked sheets, without any word to say; I can feel the sad feeling eating me up because of hurt and disappointment somehow. But why wasn't I surprised that much?

I was kind of accepting his act. Leaving after taking the unwanted fruit; I turned my head to the nightstand near the bed to find my purse gone along with the car keys.

Did he leave me on this side of the city without any vehicle?

He did because I left my car keys on the nightstand for him.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Not caring about my naked body, I grabbed the pillow next to me, where Heeseung was lying to shove my head in the pillow to let my flustered state loose and threw it away as hard as I could. The only thing I should do now is pray for my stupid love to work his mind and mutter the holy truth to the world. I cracked him and logged into his heart and mind when I brought him here, I planned this shit plan to crack him up and confess what happened.

A cracking sound of something made its way to the floor, which stopped me from doing it. Lifting my head to the side where the sound was coming, I tilted my head in the confusion of what I was seeing. It was the notebook I had given to Heeseung and got back afterward. Yes, I can't deny that I memorized and was fascinated by the way Heeseung was drawing me. But what I didn't understand was what it was doing under Heeseung's pillow.

The last time I checked, I put the notebook with the baggage I came into that house. Grabbed the notebook without any hesitation. Pulling the first pages, It wasn't new for me. And that was until my heartbeat stopped beating because of what I saw.

It was handwriting, and I was sure hundred percent that it was his.

There was a child, a loved one. He was surrounded by the love of his family one day, but day by day, this love began to shatter into pieces.

He wasn't the child to commit bad things for his family, being energetic around his family. He was the opposite of that, he was maintaining a calm personality, along with being a loner.

No friends to talk to. No friends to hang out with. It was hectic for a child.

But even that, life couldn't be harder for him to take his innocence away.