Love from Benson and Stabler [ A Bensler Fan Fic]

12

They knew this new situation-ship would not be easy to navigate. For twenty years they'd been off limits to each other and for the last ten years, he'd been off in Italy. It was different now and neither of them could've prepared for how different it would be.

Olivia had been stuck. She was chest deep in a kidnapping case that had her suffocating trying to find the young girl who'd been taken by a sex ring leader out of a hotel room in Times Square.

Her appearance had grown dishevelled, her brown hair in some knotted mess at the top of her head. Her blue top had become wrinkled over the last seventy-two hours, her slacks covered in lint. Her blazer had been discarded on some chair in a conference room she couldn't remember now, and her makeup had nearly all worn off and now displayed her tired eyes and lines of worry.

Sure, the fact she'd been on the clock for the last seventy-two and climbing hours sucked, and so did the fact someone's child was missing. Yet Olivia was having trouble not feeling a little sorry for herself. Noah and Elliot both hadn't seen her in three days and if there was one thing she wanted more than sleep right now, it was to hold both of her boys to her chest and just be able to breathe again. The rock on her chest wouldn't go away though until some type of closure was given to the parents and her crew.

"Captain, we have a ping on the girl's cell phone," Amanda yelled from the squad room.

"Where?!" Olivia hollered back, making herself appear from her office.

"Brooklyn. Fin and Velasco are already moving in on it. Other units are on standby."

"We're going in too, let's move," Olivia ordered.

The pair sat side by side in some thick tension, not from anything in their relationship, but solely from the case. Olivia pulled the car to a stop and saw a young blonde girl standing with a female officer.

"Molly?" Olivia questioned, moving toward the young girl.

The blonde turned and her blue eyes locked with Olivia's. Immediately Olivia's heart fell into her chest. It was like looking back in time, like one of Elliot's daughters was standing in front of her.

Olivia shook her head, "Molly, I'm Captain Benson, we're going to get you back to you mom and dad, okay?"

"You'll take me to them? You promise?"

"I promise," Olivia smiled, wrapping her arm around the girl's shoulders, "have you ever ridden in an ambulance?"

"No," Molly shook her head, "do I have to ride in one?"

"Yes, but I can ride with you if you'd like?"

"Please."

///

Olivia softly shut her front door and secured the locks before slipping off her shoes and shrugging off her coat. The living room was tidy, not how she'd left it, but now her pillows were placed perfectly and the throw was draped over the back just like she preferred it be. She padded down the hall and slipped her head through the crack in his door.

Noah lay sleeping. His chest rising and falling in his blue pyjama shirt, one foot sticking out from the blanket as he snuggled Eddy under one arm. Olivia watched for a moment before pushing open her bedroom door. There he laid, snoring softly on what'd become his side of her bed. He'd stepped in tonight to relieve Lucy and she was thankful he was there because her nanny wouldn't have been able to provide the comfort he will when she slides in bed beside him.

She navigates her room in the dark before slipping into her bathroom and into the shower. The hot water pelts her body and while the warmth stings it feels like heaven, melting the stress and lack of sleep off her body. She doesn't want to, but takes the time to wash her hair and detangle the mess it had become. She scrubbed the details off her skin until it turned red and then dried herself off, lazily dragged her pyjamas on, and climbed into her bed.

He'd heard the shower start and had been waiting for her to climb into bed next to him. She felt his arms wrap around her body and pull her against his solid body.

"A success?" His voice is deep with sleep.

"A survivor," she sighs, tears stinging her eyes.

"Do you need to talk?"

She took a deep breath. She did need to talk, more than she'd ever admit to anyone, anyone but him that is. Olivia knew she could be as vulnerable as she needed to be with him and that would never affect how he viewed her. She sniffled, his arms tightened around her as his lips pressed against the back of her head.

"How do grown men do those things to a child? A thirteen-year-old, Elliot, how can someone do that?"

"I used to ask myself that question, Liv, all too often."

"She was blonde." Olivia swallowed.

"Mhm," Elliot sighed.

"I can't not think of your girls, Elliot, those little blonde, blue eyed girls staring at me when they were younger. Asking me questions, being so excited when I was around."

"It's hard. I get it, if anyone gets it, it's me. Those girls are just as much mine as they are ours, Liv. All of my girls love you to death and Eli and Dickie are no exceptions to that love."

Olivia rolled over, snuggling her head into the crook of his chest as she cried.

"I went through what I went through with Lewis. Sometimes I work cases and something he did comes up and I get a vile taste of pills and alcohol in my throat. I try to tell myself over and over that he's dead, but it doesn't help because there are people still doing these terrible things and worse to innocent children, El, and I don't know how much more I can take." Olivia cried, speaking evenly as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"You need sleep before you decide to retire."

"El, that's not funny."

"I'm not being funny, Liv. I'm being rational. I hear you feel like no matter what you do you won't be able to get rid of all of them, and that's taking a toll on you, but I also know you and know you love this job. So, when you're calm and have gotten some sleep, we'll revisit the retirement talk, okay?"

"Fine," Olivia agreed with a noisy yawn, wiping away her tears.

She snuggled up as Elliot ran his hand under her tee shirt and rubbed her lower back. Before she knew it, the feeling of his hand disappeared and he drifted off to sleep.

///

Olivia stirred after what felt like an eternity, rolling with her eyes closed. She couldn't find the warmth of his body. Her eyes softly fluttered open and found her room dark and her bed only occupied by herself. She could hear soft giggles coming from down the hall, followed by gentle shushes and more giggles.

Olivia smiled and pulled on the grey hoodie at the bottom of her bed. His scent swallowed her whole as she slipped on her house shoes and padded down the hall. There they sat, backs to her at the kitchen island chatting about something quietly, doing their best to not wake her. She watched quietly, resting her still heavy body against the wall.

Elliot could feel her eyes, but before he could turn and tell her to go back to bed Noah was racing toward her like a bull in a China shop.

"Mommy!!!"

"Hi my sweet boy," Olivia smiled, hugging Noah tightly.

"I missed you!"

"Oh, and I missed you! Promise me snuggles today?"

"Can we watch movies?" Noah questioned excitedly.

"We can do whatever you want. As long as we stay right here at home."

"Okay," Noah squealed, running to find a movie.

"Do you want me to go?" Elliot questioned, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Stay? If you don't have to leave. I missed you too."

"Then it's settled. I'll stay," Elliot smiled, settling in for a relaxing day.