Love from Benson and Stabler [ A Bensler Fan Fic]

17

Noah laid in the hospital bed and thrashed around as he had a nightmare. His screams filled the room, and Olivia sprung into action. She climbed off the sofa bed that she and Elliot were sharing, before grabbing her son's arms and pinning them to the bed. She started to speak to him, her words eventually drawing him from the torture his mind was putting him through.

"Mommy is here, Noah. I will not leave you," Olivia cooed, once her son's body had relaxed. A few moments later, his eyes opened, and he gasped for air.

Olivia leaned down and pressed her forehead against Noah's forehead that was covered with beads of sweat.

"Mommy," Noah whimpered, as he quickly wrapped his arms around Olivia's neck and clung to her.

"Sweet boy, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay," Olivia breathed. She was exhausted, but tried her hardest to not let Noah realize that. When he was kidnapped before, it was hard. But this time, he was more traumatized. He had watched his grandmother not only murder her boyfriend but also kill herself.

"I'm so tired," He whispered.

"I know you are, so close your eyes. I'll sit by you until you fall asleep," Olivia yawned. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Noah to close his eyes. One hand caressed his hair while the other rubbed his chest as breaths shook his body.

Once Noah was snoring, Olivia slowly climbed off the bed and walked back to where Elliot was sitting up. He reached his hand out to her, before drawing her back down onto the lumpy mattress.

"You are an amazing mother, Liv," Elliot breathed, as Olivia laid her head against his shoulder.

"I hate myself," She whimpered.

"Why?" Elliot mused.

"Because I'm so tired and just want to sleep forever... I find myself wanting to just tell Noah to shut up, but I can't."

Elliot pressed a gentle kiss to Olivia's forehead, before holding her close.

"You are overwhelmed, Olivia. You want to say that, but you don't. Don't feel bad, when you are traumatized just like Noah. You almost lost him twice," He spoke softly.

"Please just hold me, El. I need to sleep."

"I'll take the next shift with Noah. I think he'll be fine with his mom's boyfriend," Elliot chuckled softly. He looked down to see if Olivia was faking a smile, instead her eyes were closed and she was already sleeping.

///

Just as Elliot had promised, he took care of Noah through the rest of his nightmares. He held the little boy, and eventually just sat with him as they watched cartoons on Elliot's phone.

Olivia got a solid four hours of sleep, before waking up when a nurse came in to check on Noah. Most of the cuts and scrapes he had were healing well, but his mind was very damaged.

"How is he?" Olivia asked, as she slowly climbed off the bed and rubbed her aching lower back. She couldn't wait to go home and sleep in her own bed.

"I'm fine, Mom," Noah replied, as the nurse put her stethoscope around her neck.

"His injuries are healing well. We are having a doctor come down later for a consultation, and if they approve of Noah's release, he should go home today."

Olivia followed the nurse out into the hall, as Elliot uncovered the tray that had Noah's breakfast on it.

"What kind of consultation?" Olivia mused, as the nurse typed a few notes onto Noah's electronic chart.

"Ms. Benson-"

"Is it a psychological consultation? Like seeing if he may need to stay in a different kind of hospital?" Olivia questioned. No matter how exhausted she was, the last thing she wanted was for her son to be in an institution where he wouldn't have her there to support his recovery.

"We don't know what the recommendation will be. This is just a precaution to see if he needs medication, therapy, or if he is a danger to himself. We won't do anything unless you approve, Ms. Benson. Noah is still your son," She spoke.

Olivia nodded weakly, before running a hand over her face. She turned and wandered back to Noah's room. She watched as Noah picked at his oatmeal.

"Can I go home?" Noah asked, as Olivia opened the carton of milk that sat on his tray.

"Not yet, baby. Soon though... I promise."

///

Noah sat in a conference room with an unfamiliar doctor. He was older than the one that had been taking care of him, and he had large round glasses resting on the tip of his nose. Noah wanted to laugh because his mother often wore her glasses like that, but he didn't have the energy to do so.

"Noah, I'm Dr. Camden. This meeting is to discuss how you are doing mentally."

"Don't you already know that answer?" Noah questioned, his voice sharp.

"What happened to you was difficult. I'm here to help you process the trauma you experienced," Dr. Camden replied. He chose to not comment on Noah's remark, since he knew it was just a coping mechanism.

"The trauma I experienced? I was kidnapped for a second time by my grandmother, but this time my mother didn't kick her ass to rescue me. She took a gun and shot her boyfriend then herself," Noah huffed.

Dr. Camden scrawled a few things down on his legal pad, before looking up at Noah.

"Do you think that you'd do the same to yourself?"

"Huh?" Noah asked, his eyes wide.

"Do you believe that you might harm yourself?" Dr. Camden mused.

Noah swallowed hard as he looked down at his hands. His nails were short and bleeding, since he found himself chewing on them more often.

"Noah-"

"I-i don't know... I don't think so," Noah mumbled.

"I'm glad to hear that, Noah."

"I can't leave my mom..." Noah breathed.

"Is she the only person that is consistent in your life?"

Noah settled back against his chair, before pulling the hood of his sweatshirt up. He closed his eyes tightly and ignored Dr. Camden as he said his name several times. The last thing he wanted to discuss was everything happening, and what might happen in the future.