As much as you want [Chishiya x Reader]

Chapter 16 - I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

I know that you think you sound
Silly when you call my name
But I hear it inside my head all day

When I realized I'm just holding on to
The hope that maybe
Your feelings don't show

Chishiya got you out of the lobby before hell broke loose, his hand not having left yours since the game had been announced.

He had gone directly to the surveillance room, where you, him and Kuina watched what was going on. And it didn't help to ease your anxiety, on the contrary.

Aguni had stated that the Witch was not within the militants, of course, which left the rest of the residents of The Beach, all of them deemed suspicious. They would kill, and burn everyone in the pyre until the game would be declared over.

The images were frightening. Entire groups of people getting shot, stabbed. Begging for their lives, for mercy. Only there was none to be found. Everyone had gone crazy, the need to survive reigning over common sense.

The images you were seeing kept your eyes glued to the security TVs, only leaving them briefly to say goodbye to Kuina, when she said she was going to look for any clues as to who the Witch was.

"Stay safe." You had whispered before she left.

That was until you saw Usagi, in one of the cameras. You stood up, getting closer in order to see better, breaking physical contact with Chishiya. Yes, that was definitely her, carrying Momoka's friend by the hand. So she had escaped.

How could you have forgotten?

"I need to go help her."

You almost felt the need to slap yourself so you would snap out of it. She didn't deserve what happened, nor did Arisu. You started, slowly, to regain the determination you felt before the game had begun. 

You walked towards the door, every step becoming harder and harder than the next one, but still resolved to do the right thing.

"Wait." Chishiya said. And you waited, of course.

"I just wanted to get you out of here..." He started after you turned around, his eyes on yours, the intensity of his gaze almost unbearable.

"I understand, and honestly, I thank you for it. But I don't want to get out of here if the price to pay is other people's lives. I just don't." You interrupted, little by little feeling like yourself again. Or, like a stronger version of yourself. The Hatter was really dead and would not return as Gandalf the White, but maybe you would.

He nodded after pondering what you said for some time.

"I did it for you."

"How is that an excuse for anything, Chishiya? Also, did you really do it for me? Because I remember you and Kuina were about to leave me here and run away with the cards."

"Do you really think I wouldn't have come back?"

Yes, actually. You thought so. But only because you were very angry right now, and you considered him a selfish prick. Which he was. But not when it came to you.

You were conflicted, so what? What was amazing was that everyone else was not.

"I don't know." 

You couldn't bear to look at him any longer, so you focused on the nails on your right hand, pretending to find them so much more pleasant to watch than his beautiful face. He could have at least made himself look a little bit worse while you were trying to make your point. How unfair.

"Of course I would have." 

"Okay, yeah, yeah, you would have. Sure. You still screwed up and I'm still mad." You summarized, still avoiding eye contact, not wanting him to realize that those words had almost made you smile.