𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒, 𝐭.𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬

06. spoons!

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

WARNINGS: none :)

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

i had christmas shopping to do, and i put it off for as long as possible once i knew my dad wouldn't be here for christmas. tommy was coming with me, not to buy anything, just to keep me company and mess about. so, here i was, parked up outside of the shopping centre with tommy in the passenger on december first.

"i'm dreading it." i mumbled, the two of us getting out of the car.

"what are you getting me?" tommy asked, lightening the mood as i locked my car, slipping the keys into my jacket pocket where my phone and lighter from the night prior were sitting.

"i already got your presents, actually."

"presents?" he questioned, pronouncing the 's' loudly. "you got me multiple?"

"i did, why? is that a bad thing?" i turned to look at him as we walked into the building, leading him straight into tiffany & co.

"no, no, i got you a couple as well. i just didn't think you'd get me more than one, to be honest. you normally get me one." he admitted, keeping his hands to himself as i looked at necklaces. "who are you getting a necklace for?"

"my mum," i answered, "and yeah, i do. i just spend a load of money when my dad died and your presents happened to be some of the things i spent it on."

"well, now i'm going to feel guilty when i open them."

"well, don't."

i chose a necklace and earrings for my mum, but then we went to build a bear. i had a video of them on my phone, my dad's voice saying 'i love you' to her that was in the background of a simple snap i was sending to tommy. so i got her a build-a-bear with his voice in it.

after that, we went to a few other places so i could get presents for everybody else that i hadn't already.

"i'm hungry." tommy complained.

"chill, i'm done now." i laughed. "what are you thinking? like a mcdonalds or like out or like we can go to mine and i'll make us something or i can just take you home." i listed suggestions.

"i'm thinking.. spoons?"

"you can't do that to me when i'm driving." i rolled my eyes, "but yes, we can go to spoons. come on."

we left the shopping centre, each carrying an absurd amount of bags. putting them all into the boot of the car, we got back in and i put the keys in. we put our seatbelts on and i picked up the long white aux cord, handing it to him.

"it's like, twenty minutes from here. play good music or you can walk."

in a way, i felt oddly guilty for going out. my dad had told me he wanted me to keep living my life once he was gone, and i was trying, but i still couldn't help but feel bad for it. he wouldn't want me to be, yet here i was, eating myself up inside over it.

starting to fiddle with my necklace, i heard tommy singing quietly to the song that was playing. rather than thinking about everything my head was playing at, i sung along, using my hand that was earlier playing with my necklace as a microphone. my phone started ringing, and i didn't want to answer it whilst i was driving.

"will you see who's calling me?" i asked, turning the music down with my free hand.

"yeah," he replied, reaching into my pocket and pulling my phone out, the lighter falling out with it. he looked down at it, lifting it up. "oh. are you, er, smoking again?"

fuck.

"no, it was once, last night." i admitted, not wanting to lie because i knew i couldn't get myself out of it.

"right." he replied, looking back at my phone. "it was larissa, she texted you as well, saying 'wilbur wants to know if you're still coming to the christmas eve thing'" he read out.

"reply, just say yeah." i told him, and he nodded, typing away.

eventually, we made it and i parked up, taking my seatbelt and going to get out.

"wait, val." he stopped me. "why'd you do it?"

"do what?"

"smoking. i thought you were done with it."

"i was sad about my dad, so i got a three five, smoked it and went to bed. it was a one-off, i'm not gonna get addicted off of one joint, tommy." i sighed, not wanting to have the same conversation we'd had multiple times. "i did it at larissa's, i was safe. that's my first time smoking it since i got sober, i promise."

"i'm not mad at you, valerie." tommy chuckled, "i was just, i don't know. i didn't expect you to smoke to escape your feelings, you know i'm here, don't you?"

"oh no, i know that. i just, last night i wasn't in the right head space and i wanted to feel nothing, so i did it. i'm fine now, and i don't plan on smoking again."

"can i keep the lighter?" he asked, turning it in his hands and admiring it.

"no, you can not. that was five pounds, tommy. i need it for my candles!"

"i think i should keep it, just to make sure you aren't smoking." he made an excuse.

"no, tom." i laughed, "you don't need a lighter. not happening, mine."

"fine." he huffed with defeat, finally taking his own seatbelt off and leaving the car.