𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒, 𝐭.𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬

18. feelings

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

WARNINGS: none! this chapter is written
in third person, to avoid any confusion on the
switch of pov's  :).

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

tommy planted himself comfortably on the spare chair wilbur brought out for him, the two just finishing up a stream. he knew there was something messing with his head, but he couldn't quite figure out what exactly it was.

"what's on your mind, tommy?" wilbur asked the younger boy, concern laced through his tone.

"erm, i don't know, really." shrugged tommy, clicking his knuckles against the palm of his hand. "y'know how you and larissa are together?"

"yeah." wilbur nodded, turning his seat to face parallel against tommy's.

"how did you like, know you liked her? like did you get a feeling or what was it like?" tommy questioned the boy he saw as an older brother, his nerves and anxiety flying through the roof.

"well, we were friends before, y'know that. but, i mean i guess i got a feeling. the feeling that every time i saw her, i got nervous and jittery inside, but i can't really help you much with that. i mean, you'll know." wilbur explained to the best of is abilities, not really knowing how to give the younger advice. "is this about valerie?"

"what? no? valerie's- no, no, how- what- no, it's not about valerie." he stuttered, "how do you know?"

"i can tell, do you not think we all saw you kissing on new years?" wilbur couldn't help but laugh, the fact tommy had feelings for his best friend was brutally obvious, it pained the entirety of his friends to see him trying to dodge the fact. "i've known for probably longer than you have."

"i don't want to like her though." he admitted, breaking eye contact with wilbur. "as bad as that sounds, i value our friendship too much to like her, does that make sense?"

"yeah, that makes sense."

tommy was completely and utterly stuck. though being in a relationship with valerie seemed like it would be amazing, he couldn't help but remember the downsides to it. hypothetically, if tommy and valerie were to admit feelings with each other and then get together, one wrong move between the two and not only would it be the end of a relationship – it would be the end of an almost lifelong friendship. he had no clue what to do, and no clue how valerie felt about him. perhaps she simply saw him as a friend and nothing more, yet that wouldn't explain the fact she kissed him.

"when- after we kissed on new years, she told me we're gonna pretend it never happened and just refused to talk about it. doesn't that just mean 'fuck off it was a mistake'?"

"listen, tom. we both know valerie very fucking well, you especially. how are you this stupid? it's clear as day she wants you, but you also have to remember she's going through a hard time right now, she just lost her dad, her life's changed so much in the past few weeks. just give her time, it'll all work out in the end, mate." wilbur reassured him, patting his back. "don't stress it."

"do you think so? i don't know, man, maybe she just thinks of me as a friend." tommy mumbled. "sorry, i'll stop rambling to you."

"ay, don't worry about it tom, that's what i'm here for. just, let it unfold for you, if you get together, you get together, if you don't, that's okay."

"so, i shouldn't tell her how i feel?"

"no, not yet, and don't take that the wrong way. i just think she probably needs more time to heal, and then you can try."

taking his words in, tommy nodded and agreed. the last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm valerie, and wilbur was right.

"thanks, wil, mate."

for the next few hours, the two spent their time planning out videos and future streams until it got late and tommy made his way home. he'd never before been so distracted whilst streaming, but for some reason one thing took over his mind. valerie. she was all he could think about.

the way her hair would sit perfectly with minimal effort, the way he could talk to her about anything, the way she laughed at all his stupid jokes even if they weren't funny. in tommy's eyes, valerie wasn't perfect. nobody is. but for him, she was most certainly perfect.