He makes my heart flutter!💓

42

Renukha

I felt lifeless. There's so much in my head that it hurts but I'm staying sane and holding up my confidence for Karthik's words. I will be strong.

After that terrible day, my grandmother was admitted in the hospital for a week before she was again shifted back to her home. Though I don't like her, I felt guilty about her state.

Then there's my dad who wasn't speaking to me. My father, when he came to know about me and Karthik, he did not chastise me or did anything unpleasant, instead, he began to neglect my existence.

I would have been a bit better If he just scolded me. His silence is painful for me to bear.

On the other hand, my mother lends me food three times a day, and only at those moments were the ones she even glances at me.

Nowadays, the four walls of my room was appearing similar to a cage where I was willingly crumbled in.

What's even worse was, my mother had taken away my phone on that day, thereby, providing me no chance to even contact Karthik.

It's been an entire month and a half since I have spoken to him. He must be worried about me. But I just hope he was doing well.

Karthik...

Every inch of me misses him so much.

Apart from all these, the biggest concern of me now was,

I missed my periods. Firstly, a few weeks prior I thought it was normal because my periods used to either delay or arrive within 23 days, approximately.

However, my period never disappeared for almost two months straight. Additionally, I feel really weird since the last one week. I always try to reason it with my mental health that's influencing my physical one...

But I can't anymore, it's quite apparent that I might be pregnant, judging by the way I get morning sickness, the occasional vomiting, the soreness in my breast, and the need to pee every so often. Amidst this, some of them were the symptoms that I learned in my biology text.

I couldn't accept it. I can't. Carrying a baby at this age... in this situation where If my parents were to know about it, they wouldn't even think twice before beating me black and blue. They might even commit the unthinkable to themselves because of the shame...

Everyone will talk bad about me, about the baby, about my parents, about their way of raising me. This baby, who might be in my womb, would initiate collapsion to my whole family. But he/she wasn't at the fault.

It was me and Karthik. We did a mistake which wouldn't have been one If we hadn't let it lead to the creation of a soul in me. Blaming it for anything is cruel, illogical, and heartless...

And I'm now completely clueless about what to do. Aborting it wasn't even a thing I could imagine. My conscience would kill my inside for my entire life If I would dare to do that. At the same time, carrying and bringing it out to the world sets immense fear in me as well.

I want my Karthik now. He needs to learn about this. His decision is essential for me to take any steps ahead.

At the moment, I sauntered out of the bathroom wearily after puking my guts out on the washbasin. By now, it's the third time that I was subjected to nausea.

There was a knock on my door. The sound of two knocks was to signal me that I should come down to have breakfast. I truly did not feel like having food but, I might fall unconscious If I don't have any stamina in my body.

Keeping that in mind, I went downstairs carefully and sat myself in a chair. My father was having his food without even glancing my way. His behavior was agonizing for me to handle. My nose seared and tears were already leaving my eyes.