Mirror

Chapter 14

Aiden
Five days later and I still can't comprehend the conversation I had with mom. She told me that she didn't keep contact with me because she became addicted to cocaine after the divorce.

I had no idea that she was struggling with addiction. Part of me feels bad for talking mad shit about her in the past but the other part is still furious
at her.

As much as I claim to hate her a small part of my heart was put back together to hear her say how much she missed me. She got out of rehab right before I left for Briar.

She said that she didn't tell me or dad because she was ashamed. She even wants to work on our relationship. I still have to figure out if I'm willing to let her back into my life.

Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts

Aaliyah
The saying bad things happen to good people is bullshit. Because by those standards I must be a mother fucking saint considering all of the horrible shit going on with me.

After the hockey game I had a little surprise from my campus hater waiting for me. I must have pissed them off real bad because this one seemed really personal.

A letter reading crusty nappy headed blacks are unloveable and I'm shocked that hockey Jersey didn't burst right open with you wearing it was pushed under my door. Fuck them, my mind was already fucking with me and making me feel bad.

I didn't need someone else to point out my darkest insecurities. Even though I thought I looked good in Aiden's jersey the letter from the other day is making me regret it. This also means that my campus hater is watching me closely.

I still can't figure out who it is. I didn't see anyone watching me more than usual at the game. These past couple of days I've been way more hard on myself. I haven't eaten anything since Saturday.

I feel empty physically and emotionally. I've cried so much that at this point I could fill up a never ending cup. I'm laying in my bed with the cover over my face to hide.

What am I hiding from... Charlotte, not exactly I don't want her to see me like this but that's not the main issue. Aiden, I am hiding from him because I can't be around him when I hate myself.

He makes me want to love every part of me but that's impossible. Anyways, I guess I'm mainly hiding from myself.

I don't want to overthink my whole existence but that's the life of a stupid girl who has depression. I relax my eyes, closing them as I take in a breath. I let my mind wonder. I stumble on a memory from high school.

Flashback:
Jordyn and I walking down the hall going towards the history department. Jordyn is talking me about how sweet Javion is but I'm not really listening.

I don't want to seem like a bitch so I reply with aww that's cute when she looks at me for a response. I'm happy that she has a boyfriend. I just wish it wasn't all she talks about.

She's mentioned how Javion calls her lil mama ten times already. I look at the decorated walls to give myself an escape from this repetitive conversation. The walls are covered with all of the past presidents and our current one. I take a minute to admire the picture of Barack Obama.

It must have been so hard to find the courage to be the first black President of the US. While I'm distracted a tall boy bumps into me sending my books flying.

I go to say sorry but he beats me to it and picks up my books. "My bad shawty. I got distracted from how good you look." I give him a sly smile.

He looks like he's around 5'10, deep caramel skin, and he has on a baby blue durag to protect his waves.