Her

31

Sofia

Rapist.

He is a rapist.

My father is a rapist.

Oh God!

Oh god!

Oh my god!

He is a fucking rapist.

I am a daughter of the rapist.

It is a curse. Being his offspring is a fucking curse.

He controlled me and the worst part is I let him control me my whole life. He liked it when everyone listen to him. He likes to order around. He likes it when things go as he want.

Pathetic.

He is pathetic.

And I am no less.

I did as he wanted.

Since I was seven he would tell me or  rather order me and I would obey him. At first it was just controlling which turned into something I didn't know or ever thought.

When I was twelve we went to meet Kilian family. It was such a sweet family. It was exactly like anyone dreamt from their family, anyone would expect their family.

But my father; so called father. He told me to go and kiss Sebastian and if I didn't he would cut off my dinner.

And I fucking tried.

Woeful.

But I was fucking twelve. I didn't know fucking anything. My father told me that boys like it when you just go and kiss them. My own father told me that always girls should think about boys, their feelings, their emotions, their satisfaction. Because boys ike it when women touch their body.

But what about my feelings, my emotions. He never cared about that.

What father in the world tells his daughter to go and basically sell her body to the boy?

Disgusting.

And I believed it at first. Because no one was there to tell me what is right and what is wrong!

He told me that girls are only sex toys that used by a man for his sexual desires.

What kind of father he is?

And I fucking believed him. I regret it. I regret everything.

When I went to kiss Sebastian he put a hand in front of my face and said 'NO'.

I felt bad at first. But I knew that he didn't want to kiss me. So I told my father everything and noone will believe what he did.

He slapped me. He fucking slapped me and didn't let me eat for two days.

He then came and tried to make me believe that I have to do it.

And I tried until my father himself gave up, because Sebastian never amd I mean never let me kiss him.

I also didn't want to. But I also didn't want to get slapped by my dad, locked up in my room for days without food. And he never cared. Because he would left the damn house after he locked me in my room.

What father does that to his own daughter?

I was so into saving myself from his wrath that I didn't realize he was abusing me.

So I told my father that I wanted to study abroad. I thought I will finally be free. Free from him.

Free from my own father.

But I guess he had another plans.

He came with me also.

That was seven years ago.

I also tried there to save myself from him. To get away from him. I tried. I fucking tried.

Then I got to know why he came with me. He came with me because he wanted to keep an eye on me. So that I don't do stupid things.

For him the stupid things were that he thought I will change. That he will be no more in control if I get in a good company.

So he came with me because that's what he wanted to do to me alway. To fucking control me.

He never let me study that much. Because his thinks that girls shouldn't study. What's the use when after all you are going to marry. Rather learn to cook. It will be beneficial for my future husband and become a girl who warm her husband's bed.

And at first I really that thats how world works. I believed him. His every sentence, every word.

Stupid Sofia.

Until a year ago.

Because I found out that my father is not really he is. I never thought he would be that.

A RAPIST.

I found out that my mother who was supposed to be dead when I born was actually had an accident. An accident in which she fell from a cliff and then noone found her. Noone had an information about her. Noone tried to search her.

Maybe because it was not an accident.

And the cherry on the cake is that it was not the reason I hate him.

My mother was a maid who worked for my father. Yeah she was not that beautiful but she was pretty. I heard that she was talkative, calm and hard worker until her parents died and she became almost a beggar.

And then she met Rocco.

I heard that he gave her a job as maid and she took it. He fired all other workers and made my mother work. But she did happily. Because that's what she was.

A fucking optimistic.

And then one day my so called father drugged her and raped her.

Yeah rape. He raped her till he got bored and then he started to torture her.

Mentally.

Then she got pregnant with me. She was happy, sad and angry.

When she told my father that she is pregnant he did nothing but accept the fate. But when I born he took me and send her away or maybe, NO I know that he killed my mother.

Thats the story.

He raped my mother, got her pregnant, then took her child, killed the mother and lied to the daughter that her mother died due to complications in pregnancy and he fucking made me believe that I killed my mother.

Almost a year ago when we were in London I got a letter, my mother's will documents, some photos and a file from someone I don't know. They were kept below my pillow.

I read them and I got to know everything.

Every fucking thing that my mother went through, everything that my so called father put her through. 

I hate that man.

I hate him.

I hate my father.

So I finally made a plan. A plan of destroying him, crumbling him down, take everything from him.

I will listen to him in or maybe let him control me, obey him so that he will never doubt me.

But behind him I will do everything to destroy him. Either kill him.

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So guys I am back. Finally exams are over.

I feel bad for Sofia though. Sofia went through a lot.

But don't worry I will do justice to her character.

So any thoughts about this chapter?

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