Theirs- Completed

Chapter Thirty Two

"Mum." I laughed as she stole a cookie. "You're going to burn yourself." She shrugged, breaking it in half and blowing on it, trying to cool it down. This is the first time since they started touring I haven't been waiting for them when they got home. Last time I wasn't there but I saw them the next day. They'd been back home for nearly 3 days now. I knew they'd driven up yesterday. Word had spread pretty quick that they were back for Christmas. 

"When are you leaving?" Mum spoke between her blows on the freshly baked cookies. I couldn't take these hot, then needed to cool down a bit first.  I grabbed the tray, opening the back door and putting them on the table in the garden, coming back in and watching from the warmth of the kitchen. 

"As soon as they cool and I can box them up." She nodded. "It's going to be awkward right? Seeing him again after how I left it and us not talking?" She shrugged. 

"Probably. I'd say it's only awkward if you make it awkward, but I think this is one of those things Lil." I sighed. "You'll work it out. You guys have always been too close for this to end it. You can't help it and I'm sure he knows that. Janet said he wasn't happy when he found out you'd moved. That's got to mean something." 

"What else has Janet said?" 

"Nothing." 

"Oh come off it. You guys speak all day everyday and not once did he come up?" 

"Nope. Not once." She smirked and I rolled my eyes. "They'll be cool enough now." I nodded, walking out and checking them. Sure enough they were. I brought the tray back in, boxing them up in silence. "Don't over think it Lils. It'll be fine." 

"I know you're supposed to know everything, I just don't think it will be this time. I think too much has gone on. I wish I'd kept my damn mouth shut and just cracked on with it. Let it be. But no. Stupid brain had to get carried away in the moment, again." I was mocking myself as I snapped the box shut and grabbed my coat. "Why am I so fucking dumb mum? If I'd have literally stayed quiet, it's be fine." 

"You're not dumb Lilly." She sighed, putting a hand on my cheek. "Now go, have fun with them. Don't think about it." I rolled my eyes and she shoved the box into me, ushering me out the door quickly. 

It wasn't a long walk. One dark, quiet country road and the pub was at the end. But it was enough for me to just shake my head about. I hadn't been myself for a while now. Everyone around me was starting to become accustomed to this new quieter me. I just kind of sat. Constantly. 

I was stood outside the pub, clinging to the box like the cookies would run off if I didn't. I was hoping handing them over would break the ice easily. That things would go back to normal as soon as I sat down. I doubt it. But I could hope. 

Okay. Come on now Lil. Get it done. You can leave if you need to. 

Stepping inside was like stepping back in time. Like I had stepped through a portal in some kind of fantasy novel and now I was 19 again. It has been a long time since I'd walked in here alone. Now I was stood looking around at familiar faces who looked at me like a long lost stranger. Someone they knew in a different life. Back when I'd be the loudest in here. 

I could hear them. Shouting in the back and I couldn't help the smile that slipped onto my face as I turned and walked over to the bar. I wasn't driving back home tonight. I was spending Christmas day with my parents so they'd insisted I just stayed the night. It hadn't taken much convincing though. 

I stood in the door way to the little game room, leaning against the wall watching them play as I sipped on my Gin and Lemonade. Just watching the 4 of them. I think I'd been so stuck in my head over the past few months I hadn't really had the chance to miss them like I normally did. 

This time it was hitting me differently though, seeing them again. This time it wasn't like a relief, it was like I was sinking a knife into my own heart and twisting. Especially looking at Robin. Even just the back of his head was bringing back everything, right to the surface. I had to do something now. Anything to bring myself away from focusing on it. 

"You're supposed to hit the ball Luke." Bailey shook his head, slapping Luke on the back of the head. 

"I don't know why you partnered with him in the first place if you had any hope of winning." I spoke, watching all 4 of them turn around. I avoided Robin's eyes, trying to just focus on Bailey. Just focus on him. I'll be fine if I can focus on him. 

"You're late." I chuckled and held the box of cookies in the air. 

"I couldn't get them too cool down enough to box them up." I handed them to Luke who took it, putting the box down behind them and crossing their arms. "Wow. Not even cookies are breaking it huh?" They stared at me as I stood in the middle of the four of them. "Okay cool. I'll just go home then." I shrugged and Bailey grabbed my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. "Drink!" He chuckled, moving enough to let me put it down before hugging me properly. I quickly pulled my coat off, sweating more than I thought was possible.

"Don't hog." Luke pulled me from Bailey, almost making me topple over as I chuckled.

"I'm not hugging you. You didn't want my cookies." 

"Shut up." He burried his head into my neck. "I'll eat your cookies later." I laughed hugging him tightly. "I'm still not happy with you." 

"Eat a cookie, you're probably just hungry." He pulled back, scowling at me and I just smiled softly, pushing his hair back up off his head. "You all need haircuts." I reached over, putting my hands in Aiden's locks. "Look at this. You look like you have a mop on your head." He pulled me away from Luke, lifting me up slightly. 

"I'm swapping Luke for Lils." 

"HEY!" Luke snapped, grabbing the box and counting them. "Fine, but I'm getting Bailey's cookie." 

"THAT'S NOT FAIR." I shook my head as Aiden put me down "Why do you get first dibs?" They were all bickering over the cookies in the box, leaving me dead in front of Robbie with no one to break the tension.