Shortie - Jayson Tatum

Forty Four.

And we're back! I like the chapter but I low key feel like she's all over the place. It works, she flows but you know.

Hope y'all enjoy it and excuse any mistakes.

Jayson's POV

Month 18

"Next month is decision time." Dr.Reeves, our therapist, said as she sat in front of us.

"Yep."

"That's 2 weeks away." She pointed out.

"I know." Naomi nodded.

"Are things any clearer now than they were before?"

"Nope. I feel it's getting more cloudy. I feel an immense amount of pressure to make the "right" decision but I don't even know what is."

"Jayson? Any thoughts?"

"Not really. I mean the ball is in her court. She holds all the cards."

"That's not entirely true. You're in this marriage as well."

"But I'm the reason we're here. If it were up to me, she'd be back in the house and we'd be healing. Well she'd be healing and we can look forward to the future."

She looked at her notes then back at Naomi. "What's making your decision so cloudy?"

"Honestly?" She nodded. "I don't trust him. I'd be lying if I said I fully trust him with me. I trust him with our children 100 percent but I do not trust Jayson with me and my heart. I can't fully put that in his hands."

My head dropped and shook from side to side. "Why are you shaking your head Jayson?" Dr.Reeves asked me.

"Because I knew that would be her response. She's trying and I can see it but I also know she's holding back a lot from me."

"I see. Have you two been on any more dates since the fair?"

"No. Our schedules aren't aligning. It's been difficult to find the time." I answered for us.

"You two have to make time. I've said this. If you want this to work, you're going to have to make sacrifices."

I glanced at Naomi and her body language told me everything I needed to know. Her head rested on her fist and she held a blank facial expression.

"Do you have something you want to add Naomi?" She asked her.

She shrugged and her hands went into her lap and she looked down. "I'm tired Dr.Reeves." She sighed and looked up. "I'm tired of feeling like this, tired of the weekly therapy sessions, the constant battles I'm having with myself. I don't have any energy to worry about Jayson and this marriage. I don't. I love him but I don't want to keep fighting. I'm exhausted. My hair is starting to fall out from the stress." She moved her hair to show the doctor her thinning area.

Her bottom lip trembled a little as she looked down and a tear slid down her face. "It shouldn't hurt to love anyone. Why does my heart ache at the thought of loving him? Every time I get closer, I pull back because I don't know what's going to happen if we try again. I'm afraid of the unknown."

I wiped my own eyes. I'm the cause of all of this. She's hurting and it's breaking my heart to know that I can't fix it.

—————

A week later...

"Pick up your toys. Your mom is going to be here soon." I told Chayse and he got right to it.

"Dada." Cam walked over to me and raised his arms.

"Aw you giving me some love?" I kissed his neck and he giggled which prompted Chayse to come over.