He misses, feels, thinks. [MILEX] [Miles Kane x Alex Turner] +18

38

Thursday 07 April 2016

Miles' House - Bethnal Green

[POV ALEX]

On the drive from work to Miles' house I mentally prayed that his anger had passed. As a result of the times I woke up anxious in the late hours of the night, my body ached worse than it had the day before and I felt tired. When I got out of bed, I found no trace of him in the house. I noticed that his bike was not there, so it was a certainty that he would be in Victoria Park exercising. I was tempted to stop by, but knowing his character, we would end up arguing in the middle of the park. I didn't want to start the morning in such a way. I checked the clock before getting out of the car and it was 4:11 PM. The curtains in the front rooms were wide open. Miles was home. As I entered, the only sound was that of the TV in the living room on, but there was no one watching. I went upstairs with the intention of heading for the bedroom, but discovered that the next door to the room Miles used as a dressing room was half-open and heard something being dragged across the wooden floor. Cautiously, I entered to discover him packing a suitcase. His gaze met mine and then he went back to his task of folding clothes and arranging them neatly in the suitcase's opening.

"Where are you going?" I asked with my heart pounding and anguish enveloping my soul.

"Good evening, did you forget that we didn't sleep together?" he replied in a warm, neutral tone, without looking up.

"I'm so sorry, " my voice denoted desperation and anguish. "I'm really sorry! Don't leave me, Miles, please!..."

His eyes returned to me and in his gaze I sensed that my tone and begging was worrying him.

... "I'm so sorry for getting jealous and saying horrible things..." I continued "...it's not that I want to justify myself, it's just that I really had a shitty day yesterday...please don't...don't leave me..."

I didn't try to hide my crying because it was in vain. Disconsolately, I disarmed myself in front of his person, distressed by the fact that I had screwed things up again.

"Alex, calm down! ..." In a few steps he was in front of me to grab my face and kiss me "... baby, please calm down, come here!"

His arms went around my back, allowing me to sink my face into his neck, where I moistened his striped t-shirt with my tears. His strong hands caressed my back. He cradled me as if I were a small child. I held onto his neck and let him see me like this. I cried for a long time. He never asked me to stop, he let me release all the sadness I had been holding in. Slowly, I calmed down. Looking to our left, I found the reflection of my face in the mirror standing and embarrassed, I brought my hands to hide behind them.

"Don't do that" he asked as he gently removed his hands from my face.

"I'm all puffy and red, I don't want you to look at me."

"No matter how you are, I like you just the same, I always like you a little more" he replied smiling.

I gave him a small smile.

"I would never leave you Al, how can you believe that? I'm just going to spend a few days with mum before I start the tour, that's all."

"So it's all good then, why don't you take me with you?"

"I was waiting for you to come back from the office so we could apologise to each other and tell you about this...I'm sorry I shouted at you, I don't like it when we treat each other badly, but you also need to communicate with me, honey, how would I know you had a fight with your dad if you don't tell me?"