I was at the bank the other day, and an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Even the sun will eventually die. How do stars die? They usually overdose.
What happens when a man has the heart of a lion? He gets banned from the local zoo.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
An emo kid tried to give a tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
How do emo kinds complement each other? I like ya cuts g.
Did you hear, Mcdonald's is making a Micheal Jackson burger? It's a 50-year-old slab of meat in between two 12-year-old pieces of bread.
Is Stephen Hawkins an organ donor? Because I need some new parts for my go-cart
Why does Batman only half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
I was with my dog you know just kicking it, next thing you know I'm charged with animal abuse.
I wonder what fish tasted like before woman started swimming.
I've been listening to this underground like rapper, who 2pac?
I named my dog work, so I can say I come into work everyday.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying "You'll be next!" They soon stopped, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They say they taste funny.
A child saw Santa one year and asked why his sack was so full. Santa said because he only comes once a year.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? one's a super hero, one's a simple command.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair couldn't fit in the pot.
Why do white people own so many pets? Because they can't own people anymore.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
My wife said she wanted to be treated as a princess, so I got drunk and drove through a tunnel.
Do you know why you never see any elephant hiding in a tree? Because they're good at it. Why do elephants paint their balls red, so they can hide and cherry trees. What's the loudest sound in the forest, giraffes eating cherries.
Why do so many Mexican girls get pregnant? They didn't under the assignment from the teacher which was an Essay, not a ese.
Who can jump the highest? Emo kids some of them are still in the air.
Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and all over their land
What is Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out? Wendy's.
I arranged a threesome a couple of weeks ago. There were obviously 2 no-shows but we still had a good time.
YOU ARE READING
The Totally Lame Joke Book
HumorThis a book of jokes both funny and messed up. If you are in any way offended by this book then it's not for you. This book is not made for the faint-hearted. Enter at your own risk. I don't own most of these jokes I just put them in there for a lau...
